Why do some brides get upset when their groom has an opinion that differs from

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their childhood dreams? It's his day too but they treat him as scenery only that isn't capable of any kind of independent thought or opinion. If he didn't propose, then there wouldn't be any wedding to plan in the first place, so it's not the Bride's Day even though she has childhood dreams that have suddenly been crushed since the real life groom came along. Not only that, but society also continues to tell her that she has the final word in everything and his opinion doesn't matter on anything, even if he isn't interested in most of the details to the same extent that she is. But yet she seeks out validation to throw a hissy fit since the day doesn't revolve around her anymore. Why does society perpetuate this and allow it to continue?
 
I guess it depends on the bride and how set her ideal plans are for the wedding. Some women have a very precise idea of what they want their dream wedding to be like. They are sort of persuaded by cultural norms to think about their wedding day, dream house, and motherhood at a young age. But I guess for some women it is hard to change their ideas when they are so firmly rooted. I do think that a wedding is about the union of two people but lets face it, just as women are held within the social construct of having their dream wedding and being in control a lot of men are show moderate to mild interest in the wedding day plans. Don’t you think if society is partly to blame on shaping women’s ideas about weddings and control then it can also be the same for men? Maybe their thinking is also shaped by society telling them that to be a man you shouldn’t be very interested in such girly things as planning a wedding (choosing a décor, color theme and flowers).
Personally I have been making many of the decisions about my wedding and telling my fiancé afterwards. He is perfectly fine with everything I have chosen. He does not actively participate in the wedding plans, and he doesn’t really know about all the little details that we have to think about and take care of unless I tell him what to do. If I left the wedding up to him and gave him more leeway to do as he wanted, I’m sure by now (five months to the wedding) we would have no venue, no cake, no anything! I am the one that takes the interest and initiative to make appointments do the research and figure things out. I value and ask for his opinion, but to me if you have no vision for the wedding and you aren’t actively making your own check list and appointments then when it is done you can’t really complain as you didn’t take interest in doing anything!
 
My fiance says he hates weddings. I've heard that from a lot of guys actually.

So why would women want the decisions made by a person who hates weddings in the first place?

My fiance wants the ceremony to be as short as possible followed by a one hour reception. RIDICULOUS!!!!!!! that's not what I looked for in a wedding.

Men plan the honeymoon and have a say in a lot. A women waits her entire life for the wedding..........so yes its ok for a woman to throw a "hissy fit" as you would say, over HER wedding.
 
the only one who is allowing brides to do it is their family and fiancee.


it is both of ours , i expect him to choose things and tell me what he thinks and them rearange apropiately . but then again i care about his ideas. often i think girls get married just to have the wedding . and dont actually think things through
 
I agree with your rant. The wedding should be joint affair taking into consideration the wishes of both the bride and groom. It is a good opportunity to practice the art of compromise which is a requirement of a successful marriage.
 
I dont know, but all of my boyfriends i have been serious with enough to discuss marriage have definitely said everything was my decision. Now that i am engaged and planning a wedding, i am still glad it is that way! He wants nothing to do with it because they know that girls plan these things their entire lives and boys just never really cared in general- its the truth.
 
The reason that it has become the 'bride's day' is simple - traditionally, the bride's family pays for the whole wedding, so the view has been why shouldn't she have her way on everything?

Since more and more couples are either paying for their wedding themselves or both families are contributing, the groom has much more say in the proceedings of the day.
 
i am with you i pitched the idea of what i like to my man and he pitched some ideas back and we are doing it all together. a few things he left up to me like flowers dresses ... but food where we are doing it colors we did all together
 
Bottom line....right or wrong, girls have been planning thier weddings since they were like 4!
My man could honestly care less. He said the only thing he wanted was to be able to pick out his tux and that was it. Other than that, he was like, just tell me where and when to show up.
The planning and events of a wedding are typically a girl thing all the way.
It is like asking men why they root for their fav football team. I think it is mentally embedded. hhahhaah
 
I think it depends a lot on what the opinion is on. If it's the size of the wedding (10 guests vs. 200) they both need to agree on that kind of thing at the very beginning of the whole process. If it's the style of dress the bride is going to wear, I'd say it's her decision that takes precedence. If it's the color of the tuxes, he should have the final say. You get the idea.

As far as why brides get upset, you'd have to be a female to know just how much time dreaming over these details some brides have spent over the course of growing up. I've known some girls who started making lists and gathering ideas and pictures of what they wanted while they were still in high school.
 
I know exactly what you mean, and I have long wondered the same thing. They buy into the "It's the bride's day" propaganda, and forget that TWO people are getting married. I've seen questions from brides wondering why they can't choose their fiance's groomsmen and Best Man, and admit at the same time that's the ONLY thing he has a say on. Um, I won't even get started.
My mister and I have made sure that our wedding reflects who WE are as a couple, and individuals, and I have yet to refer to it as "my" wedding. After all, I'm not marrying myself.
Society perpetuates this, because it's profitable. The more people who buy into the De Beers diamond propaganda, and the "her day so make it the BEST DAY EVER" spiel, the more money there is to be made.
 
i think because its more like a girl's dream & they have imagined for years & guys don't tend to do that!!

most girls even before they get a proposal have already in their minds their perfect wedding but its not all brides

im getting married in nov & i wanted italian food for my wedding [[my fiance & i are both mexican american]] but he wanted to go with a traditional plate from the city his parents are from a state in mex

i didn't mind because its our wedding & he's the one paying for most of it!
as well as i wanted to have more than a dj i wanted to have a live mexican band but he didn't want to because he is saving up for our honeymoon too
& i didn't get upset & his opinion counts to me a lot!

girls just need to snap out of it & realize its not their quinsenera or sweet 16 its their wedding [[their]] meaning two lol
 
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