why do people care too much about politeness?

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duzie

New member
i mean i know you should treat others with basic respect: respect your elder/host/guest/friends/work colleagues (and whatever)..

but some people can take this overboard!! examples that really annoy me:
*being fake or lying to be polite- yeah what good will you do to society if you do that?
*paying attention to the words being said and not the meaning: ok so someone says "can i have it?" is not polite but someone else screams "can i please have it" is a complete gentleman.
*paying attention to Small meaningless things- so the napkin wasn't on the person's lap. is it your problem? let him be stained he chose it.
*being rigid and uptight- why can't people just enjoy themselves at events without acting like the "etiquette" police? that's especially when everyone is laid back.
*when someone says "that's not polite" to someone in front of many people- well he should get a nobel prize for etiquette. wouldn't you want someone to humiliate you next to many?
*those who give up their values to please others- i won't eat anything that has pork because it's against my religion.. if someone will be offended by this i won't change my mind.

there are so many other things..but why are people like this? i seriously don't understand!
kristelle- this is exactly what i think "how would i like it if".. but i don't have to do the above (my list) to be polite.

marisya- you're right empathy is putting yourself in other people's shoes..and it's important isn't it? however if you look up "empathy" in the dictionary you won't find any "lies" in the definition. lying is giving false evidence...and if you think about it would you really want to do that to a person you care about?
dua ahsan and cool dude- .if you thought you'd get best answers i suggest you erase your comments because i don't give 10 points to disrespectful people... just saying.
 
why would NOT be polite. it is easy to be polite unlesss someone is stuckup and stupid like youreself ---- do you see why people need to be polite ? I think you are extremely stupid and boarderline redared for askign this question but I would not have expressed my opnion just to be polite--well now you know ;)
 
It's all a choice. Free will.

Politicians are friendly...and fake and liars. Lying to be polite is different than saying "nothing" to be polite. I guess it comes down to human dignity, and who's dignity you are helping or hurting with your words.

Parents like to tell their kids to say Please and Thank you, because it shows humility, and teaches them a lesson. Are you more apt to give someone a pencil that say's "Gimme that pencil!", or "Could I have that pencil please?".

If you spent money on your childs clothes, and you don't want them to stain them, then yes...you should ask them to put a napkin on their lap. Should you tell another adult to do that? No. You're right. It's a choice.

I agree with you on relaxing at events. Life is too short to be worrying what everyone else thinks about you. If you are having fun, and aren't ruining someone elses fun in the process, then go wild.

Sometimes there is a jerk in the crowd, and people are too afraid to say anything. If someone is being loud in the movie theater, and ruining my time, then I *will* turn around and ask them politely to be quiet. Of course, this has gotten me into a fist fight before, but after that..the person was extremely quiet. :)

You should never give up your values to please others, assuming that your values are just.
 
It's all a choice. Free will.

Politicians are friendly...and fake and liars. Lying to be polite is different than saying "nothing" to be polite. I guess it comes down to human dignity, and who's dignity you are helping or hurting with your words.

Parents like to tell their kids to say Please and Thank you, because it shows humility, and teaches them a lesson. Are you more apt to give someone a pencil that say's "Gimme that pencil!", or "Could I have that pencil please?".

If you spent money on your childs clothes, and you don't want them to stain them, then yes...you should ask them to put a napkin on their lap. Should you tell another adult to do that? No. You're right. It's a choice.

I agree with you on relaxing at events. Life is too short to be worrying what everyone else thinks about you. If you are having fun, and aren't ruining someone elses fun in the process, then go wild.

Sometimes there is a jerk in the crowd, and people are too afraid to say anything. If someone is being loud in the movie theater, and ruining my time, then I *will* turn around and ask them politely to be quiet. Of course, this has gotten me into a fist fight before, but after that..the person was extremely quiet. :)

You should never give up your values to please others, assuming that your values are just.
 
You must be a teenager, or an adult with a juvenile mind.

Short answer to your question:
Because you and I live in a world where appearance is everything; that is the way it is kid.
 
You must be a teenager, or an adult with a juvenile mind.

Short answer to your question:
Because you and I live in a world where appearance is everything; that is the way it is kid.
 
um because it shows that you as a person have good manners and are not a rude and are a respectful person! regardless of who the person is, you're suppose to give the same liking and treat them as you would have them treat you.. thought everyone knew this stuff?
 
*being fake or lying to be polite- yeah what good will you do to society if you do that?
it's called emapthy.... putting yourself in the others position and realizing that the "truth" is as YOU see it and it's not being fake to temper your comments with compassion for the other person's feeling. you kids today think being a bi^ch is a good thing..... it's not. if you are continually negative and hurtful thinking only of yourself.... society will ensure, you are ALWAYS by yourself

*being rigid and uptight- why can't people just enjoy themselves at events without acting like the "etiquette" police? that's especially when everyone is laid back.
depends on what you mean laid back is..... i'm not about to run around like an idiot because everyone else it.... i'm not about to dress like like a slob or let everything hang out because everyone else is.... it's called self respect.

*when someone says "that's not polite" to someone in front of many people- well he should get a nobel prize for etiquette. wouldn't you want someone to humiliate you next to many?
that would depend on the circumstance.... most often it's not polite to point that out publicly however if what was done offends those who are with you publicly then it sure is.

there is something called empathy as stated above.... also compassion. once those two things are learned and understood you will understand where manners come into play.... where being polite is found to be much easier than being "blunt" (aka rude and selfish). it's thinking about the feelings of others..... not taught by parents to children for quite some time now and it's showing.
 
Wen I first read the question I was wonderin wut u had against manners but I see why u mean, I think lying to b polite is the only one of those that doesn't bother me, Uptight people really bother me alot, And wut u said bout the word not the meaning is another big one that bothers me, but it's jus how some people were raised or wutever n I try to ignore it or respect it n it usualy doesn't bother me as much as some people, jus live n let live n all that it's jus the way they are they're not tryin to b rude or annoying most the time
 
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