Why do i do this to myself?

L

LydiaJ

New member
Ever since i can remember I've been large. Hell, I'll be honest. I was always fat. I've always known it, and I've always been told it. So obviously, I grew up with some issues. If I eat, I want to get it out of me, but if I were to do that, i'd feel bad because ur not suppost to do that. So if I leave it, i feel horrible cuz I feel like I'm just gadda get fatter and fatter. I'd just stop eating all together, except that I'm an emotional eater. If I'm bored, I eat, if I'm sad, I eat, if I'm pissed off, I eat. I'm just so sick of food! I'm sick of hating how I look! I hate how my brother pokes me and teases me for having a few extra lbs. Just cuz he has a six pack and runs 12 miles a day doesn't mean that I do too. I'm tired of my mom saying little things like, "Are u sure u want to wear that out? It looks a little tight." Or short. Or whatever. No matter what anyone ever says to me, I'll always think I'm just a huge fat monster who is ugly as sin. I hate it all. I think I need to go do something. Thanks for reading this.
 
Well if you feel that way then do something about it.. Make yourself stop.. Hell, I'm not fat but I lost 5 pounds just by not eating as much.. Get an athletic hobby and stick to it.. I bike a TON.. And for people making fun of you.. Fuck them.. Why do you care what they think, they are mean spirited people, whoever looks down on someone because of their disadvantages will get theirs.. FYI I do believe in karma..
 
At on time I use to be like that, then all of a sudden I this nervousness came along, I guess because of the guys...lol. I don't know but since I got this nervousness I stopped eating and lost a lot of weight. Now that I am going with a guy for what about 3 years or so, I am like I don't care anymore and I have been getting so stressed out from work and pissed off that now I am eating more. With my mom being home all day and I have to be, I get bored and eat...eat...eat. I am starting to gain some back...ahhhhh. I see what you mean. I am trying desperatly not to gian it all back. I mean I went from a size 10-12 to a size 1-0, I am starting to go back into a size 3...ooh no. But I just can't help myself. I am trying though.
 
Don't u think I've tried to loose wieght? I lost close to 50 lbs. It's just a never ending struggle and I hate it. I hate that I hate myself for just eating anything. And I sortof believe in karma.
 
My sister used to weigh about 300 pounds... she went on raw foods and lost about half of that (I think she's about 160 right now).

The more comfortable you can be with yourself, the easier it is, I've heard. But I don't have first-hand experience.

Good luck. I've experienced addiction... it's not easy.
 
I used to be fat too, now I"m just really muscular. I wish I had some sort of secret for you but I really don't. I know how it feels to be made fun of for your weight. People always try to tell you, " why do you care what they think?" but who in there right mind doesn't care what anyone thinks? The best thing to do is replace eating with something else, or get away from the food when you know that you're really full and you feel like eating. I joined weight watchers and as soon as I was healthy enough to exercise that became a major hobby. The best thing about exercise is that if you do enough of it, you can eat almost anything that you want. My job made me lose weight too because I don't have time to eat and you don't get paid if you sit on your ass for too long. so anyway, I hope that that helped.

*edit* ps. and please don't get rid of your food after you eat it any other way than digesting it. I think that a person a little bit over weight (or a lot) is way more beautiful than someone malnurished with teeth that have been eaten away by stomach acid.
 
I know how all women think that they are the only ones that have those type of problems but I've had them too...Last year right before Christmas I weighted close to 170lbs and I was like 5' 4" and I got real stressed because not only was I feeling ugly and shit but I noticed that most girls don't go for guys who are "large" so then I went on this obsessive roller coaster of eating, not eating, belumia, and all sorts of other things....even now after getting about 2" taller and losing about 50 lbs I still feel fat as shit and I still constantly watch what I eat....I think I'm just fucked up ...oh well aren't we all?
 
i feel bad for you.. it sucks to worrie about something about yourself. i am not fat but i have other things i worrie about so i can understand.. :-/ just stick with it.. thats about all i can say.
 
Mags, girl, fuck that attititude. Im a bigger girl, I think I am sexy, I have a very sexy boyfriend, I wear short dresses and show off my body. Dont put yourself down because an over played media makes you think you are fat. Have you seen the women that artist such as van goh painted? they were fat. being big was once thought of as sexy, and it still is in many cultures. just because a bunch of horny men decided that they want to fuck girls smaller than them and played it over our sickening media is no reason for you to fall into the male notion of what you should look like. now go out, buy yourself some nice jewelry, and smack your brother up alongside his head for being an asshole.
 
i'm always afraid i'm fat or going to get a gut or something...i think that's why my body starves itself..i can go easily 3 days without food and still feel no hunger...i'm still currently going through this...in fact i'm underweight by 20 lbs.
so i'm kinda skinnier...but i hope to find a way outta this

i think ur cute anyway i mean i would really think anyone is cute as long as they have a sweet nice personality...plus most of the really hott girls people would know really ain't my type...i'm just looking for love

but in my advice what's helped me stay healthy and alive for that matter...first off eating right...i eat more salads and healthier things...i quit eating meat like 80%, i've already quit chocolate and candy like 7 years ago...quit caffeine over a year now...plus i still try to bike, and do other various things...something that won't cause me to have asthma attacks...oh and you gotta learn to love yourself..i'm like 70% the way on myself but hopefully i'll be done with all this sooner...a good way is to really not care what anyone thinks about you..well of course you can care for people who do think your great...but others, just tone them out, they aren't worth it, and don't deserve you.....i feel like i'll never deserve anyone for that matter...
 
im an emotional eater too mag...and im fat and it sucks. i want to do a shitload of weightloss pills. drugs make everything easier

btw...have you ever seen requiem for a dream?
 
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