RANDOM GUY
New member
...try to help if you can)? Whenever I talk to a girl who is moderately attractive I always get the impression that she is writing me off or choosing to dislike me straight away from the get-go. At first I thought it was just coincidence, or circumstance (she's just plain stuck up, bad day for her or I, etc.).
But then I noticed that it happens way too often for that to be the case. Every person I approach seems to be turned off by me, and I can't seem to figure out why. I've pondered it for a long time and explored alot of possibilities, my approach, my tone, my (apparent)confidence . . . I worked to get all of these things in order to present myself as best I could yet women still seemed repulsed by me.
Then I noticed it occurring even when I'm not approaching with signs of interest. Even friendly conversation, or legitimate questions such as directions, or time of day always yield a negative or sometimes even cold response from 90% of attractive females. I tend to get a straight answer then the cold shoulder, i.e. I sense a conscious effort to avoid me, when I've done nothing to deserve it.
Though to be honest, my approach in and of itself is typically still rather ambiguous as to my intent at the point that girls start to display signs of disinterest or repulsion.
Now I know what you're thinking, but I assure you I am clean and presentable person. I practice good hygiene and don't smell or look like slob.
In terms of my appearence I am a 20 year old male. I tend to dress very plainly in my casual attire; my shirts are typically a navy blue or military green cotton polyester cotton with basic shorts or jeans. Overall its relaxed though not sloppy. I'm somewhat thin but not excessively; I have sort of a basketball players' physique. My hair is short, a regular buzz cut, that grows out a bit over time. (I have the stylist just shave a straight 3 length razor all around). I tend to have a bit of facial hair now and then but I keep it neat. I have blue eyes and brown hair, and I'm told I have a cute face by close female friends. I may not be a body builder but I can be fairly certain I'm not physically repulsive.
I dont walk with my head down or appear socially inept in any way I am aware of, and I do my best to appear friendly and confident. I'm pretty sure it can't be anything I say or do; I speak in a nice calm tone (not arrogant or self centered) and I am always courteous. Though the converstation rarely goes on for very long before I'm already seeing signs of disinterest.
Why then, I ask, does this continue to happen?
The only thing I can think of is that perhaps I show some signs of low social status that I'm unaware of. If that is the case I am more than open to criticism; I have described my general appearence above in some detail. I am familiar with the standardly accepted image of a 'loser' in society and I can't identify any way in which I represent it.
READ THIS NEXT PART:
To be absoultely clear: I do not expect every female I approach (regardless of my intent) to fall for me, or be instantly attracted. Every girl likes different things and there are a number of other ways girls are turned off to guys. But in situations where I haven't even shown any signs of interest to begin with I would at least expect a semi-friendly response; and this seems to occur way too often to think that "all the girls are just stuck up".
The reason I am concerned is because it seems like I'm being given no chance, instantly. As in before I've said more than a sentence or two I'm rejected even if I didn't want more than a friendly conversation to begin with. And for the record sometimes two sentences is all I've said before a girl, many girls in my experience, is very obviously making an effort to ignore me.
Any input is appreciated. I will select a best answer for this question.
When I say ambiguous as to my intent, I mean undiscernable as to whether or not I am approaching out of romantic interest or simply to be friendly/sociable.
But then I noticed that it happens way too often for that to be the case. Every person I approach seems to be turned off by me, and I can't seem to figure out why. I've pondered it for a long time and explored alot of possibilities, my approach, my tone, my (apparent)confidence . . . I worked to get all of these things in order to present myself as best I could yet women still seemed repulsed by me.
Then I noticed it occurring even when I'm not approaching with signs of interest. Even friendly conversation, or legitimate questions such as directions, or time of day always yield a negative or sometimes even cold response from 90% of attractive females. I tend to get a straight answer then the cold shoulder, i.e. I sense a conscious effort to avoid me, when I've done nothing to deserve it.
Though to be honest, my approach in and of itself is typically still rather ambiguous as to my intent at the point that girls start to display signs of disinterest or repulsion.
Now I know what you're thinking, but I assure you I am clean and presentable person. I practice good hygiene and don't smell or look like slob.
In terms of my appearence I am a 20 year old male. I tend to dress very plainly in my casual attire; my shirts are typically a navy blue or military green cotton polyester cotton with basic shorts or jeans. Overall its relaxed though not sloppy. I'm somewhat thin but not excessively; I have sort of a basketball players' physique. My hair is short, a regular buzz cut, that grows out a bit over time. (I have the stylist just shave a straight 3 length razor all around). I tend to have a bit of facial hair now and then but I keep it neat. I have blue eyes and brown hair, and I'm told I have a cute face by close female friends. I may not be a body builder but I can be fairly certain I'm not physically repulsive.
I dont walk with my head down or appear socially inept in any way I am aware of, and I do my best to appear friendly and confident. I'm pretty sure it can't be anything I say or do; I speak in a nice calm tone (not arrogant or self centered) and I am always courteous. Though the converstation rarely goes on for very long before I'm already seeing signs of disinterest.
Why then, I ask, does this continue to happen?
The only thing I can think of is that perhaps I show some signs of low social status that I'm unaware of. If that is the case I am more than open to criticism; I have described my general appearence above in some detail. I am familiar with the standardly accepted image of a 'loser' in society and I can't identify any way in which I represent it.
READ THIS NEXT PART:
To be absoultely clear: I do not expect every female I approach (regardless of my intent) to fall for me, or be instantly attracted. Every girl likes different things and there are a number of other ways girls are turned off to guys. But in situations where I haven't even shown any signs of interest to begin with I would at least expect a semi-friendly response; and this seems to occur way too often to think that "all the girls are just stuck up".
The reason I am concerned is because it seems like I'm being given no chance, instantly. As in before I've said more than a sentence or two I'm rejected even if I didn't want more than a friendly conversation to begin with. And for the record sometimes two sentences is all I've said before a girl, many girls in my experience, is very obviously making an effort to ignore me.
Any input is appreciated. I will select a best answer for this question.
When I say ambiguous as to my intent, I mean undiscernable as to whether or not I am approaching out of romantic interest or simply to be friendly/sociable.