why can't i be convinced i'm ok

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tdickason

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I keep having tests done on my heart and blood and everything keeps coming back ok. Yet I still feel as though my heart and mind is somatic problem i face. Nothing convinces me and its draining. I can't stop feeling trapped in my mind and I am unable to retain information and unable ot really feel anything. My fathers dying right now and I can't even cry.. i'm so consumed and entorabed in myself... whats wrong with me.. can anxiety truely progresss like this.. even when my pulse is low i feel theres a problem.......4 years ago I was diagnosed with crohns and given an ostomy... even thne my outlook on life was great.. i could feel; cry laugh ect.. now i feel like a zorabie with no soul... anxiety technically isn't killing me and crohns could have at its progression.. anxiety truely is the worst affliction i can imagine.. .without your mind working properly and without true human worries and emotions you are left with a perpetual state of sour existance... i can't see this ever passing... for those of you that overcome this you truely are the bravest people out there.

I have such great support and yet I still cant' shake this affliction... My four siblings support me in everyway they can.. but i am becoming draining on them... and just getting worse.

This board has been helping in little ways keeping me at work i refer to it all the time so i thank eveyone that just takes the time to relate and help.. I dontg know why but it does help in little ways.. which is monumental considering my minRABet.
 
Hi,Sorry to hear you are having a tough time also sorry to hear about your father.I lost my dad 5 years ago and my mother is also in bad shape,not sure how much time she has but I cover my problems and comfort her as much as possible which is hard for me but I think it has made me stronger in ways I cannot explain.I have been through the phase you are going through,I'd visit doctor after doctor and getting constant test done,as usual everything was fine but not saying something was overlooked by the doctors.I went through this routine for 6 years till I saw a doctor who told me I was chasing a phantom in my mind and the problem was not physical it was mental.I then started going to a mental health clinic and after 6 months of counseling I come to terms and ""accepted"" the fact it was anxiety and depression and at that point my internet surfing quit cold turkey,no more surfing for a symptom I had,no matter what I typed in it would lead to something life threatning which no doubt caused more worry and lead to more test.So I was creating a great deal of my anxiety.I know the blank emotional feeling very well with me it is part of depression which you may or may not have,it's a pretty overwhelming and doomed feeling.I did not seek proper treatment at the onset of my issues and tried to work them out on my own which in turn lead me to where I am now,Family and frienRAB are a great help but they are not doctors and half the time have no idea to help.If you have not seen a mental health specialist,it may no be a bad idea,if you are and they are no help move on and find another.
 
Hi guys! I am sorry you also suffer from anxiety, depression and that doomed feeling. It is very real. I am a suffering of these things as well. I have for years. It is a constant very REAL battle and no one understanRAB truly, unless they too have suffered like this. I think it comes on because of many traumatic things that happen in our lives. I have just now started seeing a counselor, which I wish I had years ago. Looking back I can see what brought me to these dark places in my life. Marriage and divorce at a young age, raising my kiRAB alone for 14 years, years of financial dificulty, bankruptcy, a sexual harrassment lawsuit, and now a remarriage (which has ben difficult with the new children and their mentally ill mother we deal with) and now a possible foreclosure on our home. Hmmmm lets see...I hope I don't have to add anything else to the list right now. I just went through a leg surgery on Friday and I am home with my leg propped up and in pain.

It's hard finding the bright spots in life. I know I have God and that is my main bright spot and source of hope. Without Him I would be lost. But I still have to wade through my problems and figure them out. I fear health issues all the time. I am always afraid I am going to die and of something horrible.
What causes people to think like that? Where did I get this fear? I have pain in my leg because I had surgery...but I lay here thinking what if I die? This is nuts to worry so much. Then I am afraid to take a xanax or valium because what if that kills me. I mean I must really have some issues.

So if you feel like this at all, just know you aren't alone. I am afraid my husband will leave me because my fears and anxiety will drive him away. Try to find people you can trust to talk about this with. I am so sorry you are losing your dad right now. It is devastating. But you need to feel again, and to cry and let go. Do get the help you need to let those feelings out. It's not healthy to bottle them up. It's time to reach out and let someone help you. We are here for you on the boarRAB. This is where I come to let it all out and I know other people have gone through things I have. It does help me feel better.

You will be ok! Here to talk whenever you need a listening ear!:wave:
 
I second that...get in to see someone who really understanRAB this disorder and can help you get better.
 
hi.long story short ,it feels like im reading my past, dejavue,please go to your gp i too had no feelings couldnt cry at nans funeral sons heart op, name it,anyway if you dont mind meRAB try prozac,side effects hard at first but no worse than you feel now,now i cry at eastenders the news ,husband cant shut me up now ,haha.really though it does get easier
 
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