Why can’t I ever mingle in with a crowd of women I don’t know?

W

william

New member
Ok here’s what really bothers me. I have aspergers first of all and meeting women is very hard for me!!! I would do anything to improve my social skills and meet women. I would get involved in clubs, a bowling league, and even go out to the bookstore and try to chat or strike up a conversation with women and NOONE TALKS TO ME AND I ALWAYS FEEL IGNORED and I never have anything interesting to talk about. I am friendly and try to strike a conversation and they just don’t give a rats a*s about me or want to talk!!

I want to mingle in with some women who I don’t know but I am afraid that I am not welcome because in the past, I have been told by a lot of women I am creepy that I am trying to hang with them and talk to them. Even at a seminar or singles club, I am very friendly and I talk to some women and THEY ARE JUST STUCK UP AND TELL ME TO LEAVE AND I BEEN CALLED A LOSER!!!

Please help me. What should I do? For an example if I am at the bar with a bunch of strangers I don’t know and everyone is mingled in socializing, I don’t know what to say and don’t have the proper social skills on what is ok to say and what isn’t. I always say something so dumb and it turns women off so I need some help!

I am always told to watch my personal space too BUT MEANWHILE, EVERYONE ELSE MINGLES AND PICKS UP WOMEN AT CLUBS, AND JUST PARTIES AND I FEEL LEFTOUT! EVEN WHEN I DRINK TO LOOSEN UP!
 
Man, that sucks. Not everyone can be an operator. In fact, most people aren't. If you want to meet women, you should do it in situations where it's fully expected. That cuts down on the need to be smooth and quick on your feet.

Try an arranged date or the internet, so the whole purpose of you meeting the girl is to socialize. And make sure the girl knows you're shy first, or even tell them you have Aspergers. That will screen out the girls who don't like shyness and prepare them to deal with it so they don't take it personally.

Your problem is that you are trying to act out of character. You're projecting extroversion by approaching random women you don't know, but then you follow up with awkwardness. That makes the girl feel ambushed and rings "weirdness" bells. But many girls find honesty and vulnerability compelling. If you're upfront about who you are, you're more apt to meet the type of girl who is looking for that sort of personality.
 
Man, that sucks. Not everyone can be an operator. In fact, most people aren't. If you want to meet women, you should do it in situations where it's fully expected. That cuts down on the need to be smooth and quick on your feet.

Try an arranged date or the internet, so the whole purpose of you meeting the girl is to socialize. And make sure the girl knows you're shy first, or even tell them you have Aspergers. That will screen out the girls who don't like shyness and prepare them to deal with it so they don't take it personally.

Your problem is that you are trying to act out of character. You're projecting extroversion by approaching random women you don't know, but then you follow up with awkwardness. That makes the girl feel ambushed and rings "weirdness" bells. But many girls find honesty and vulnerability compelling. If you're upfront about who you are, you're more apt to meet the type of girl who is looking for that sort of personality.
 
Man, that sucks. Not everyone can be an operator. In fact, most people aren't. If you want to meet women, you should do it in situations where it's fully expected. That cuts down on the need to be smooth and quick on your feet.

Try an arranged date or the internet, so the whole purpose of you meeting the girl is to socialize. And make sure the girl knows you're shy first, or even tell them you have Aspergers. That will screen out the girls who don't like shyness and prepare them to deal with it so they don't take it personally.

Your problem is that you are trying to act out of character. You're projecting extroversion by approaching random women you don't know, but then you follow up with awkwardness. That makes the girl feel ambushed and rings "weirdness" bells. But many girls find honesty and vulnerability compelling. If you're upfront about who you are, you're more apt to meet the type of girl who is looking for that sort of personality.
 
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