Why can’t I ever mingle in with a crowd of women I don’t know?

R

Ryan D

New member
Ok here’s what really bothers me. I have aspergers first of all and meeting women is very hard for me!!! I would do anything to improve my social skills and meet women. I would get involved in clubs, a bowling league, and even go out to the bookstore and try to chat or strike up a conversation with women and NOONE TALKS TO ME AND I ALWAYS FEEL IGNORED and I never have anything interesting to talk about. I am friendly and try to strike a conversation and they just don’t give a rats a*s about me or want to talk!!

I want to mingle in with some women who I don’t know but I am afraid that I am not welcome because in the past, I have been told by a lot of women I am creepy that I am trying to hang with them and talk to them. Even at a seminar or singles club, I am very friendly and I talk to some women and THEY ARE JUST STUCK UP AND TELL ME TO LEAVE AND I BEEN CALLED A LOSER!!!

Please help me. What should I do? For an example if I am at the bar with a bunch of strangers I don’t know and everyone is mingled in socializing, I don’t know what to say and don’t have the proper social skills on what is ok to say and what isn’t. I always say something so dumb and it turns women off so I need some help!

I am always told to watch my personal space too BUT MEANWHILE, EVERYONE ELSE MINGLES AND PICKS UP WOMEN AT CLUBS, AND JUST PARTIES AND I FEEL LEFTOUT! EVEN WHEN I DRINK TO LOOSEN UP!
 
Its some combination of evolution and natural instinct and will always be there. It originated as a safety instinct kinda similar to a fear of heights because it use to be very dangerous to talk to women you didnt know. When man was in tribes of 100 people or so any attractive females were likely to be claimed already and you could face alot of negative social consequences walking up to the wrong girl, not just from a bully boyfriend but also from other leaders who disapprove of it.

However this is obviously not the case anymore. We've changed as a society a but and I think the best way to get past this is to get outside of your head and is to think more in the moment. The picture you might get is someone who is just social and talks and reacts to everything, their not thinking. If you get inside your head start talking to someone your comfortable with and get back out. I have my off nights where i find my mind wandering and it will help to snap yourself out of it.

Heres some long term advice that I think will help you if you really mean that your willing to learn. Its not a quick fix and the advice will flip your world upside down if you give it a chance. Heres a link for a newsletter that you could benefit from if you take the time to read it once or twice a week. If that strikes your fancy I also recommend checking out the ebook.
 
If you ever feel lonely, give me a ring at the Palace. I'm always available. You might have to wait though as there is usally a line outside my bedroom.
 
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