why are people so quick to judge us young mums?

  • Thread starter Thread starter BFP on 1/07/2009 :)
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BFP on 1/07/2009 :)

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i mean its not as if the people who judge us know our full story or history is it!! but as i was walking around tesco yesterday with both my kids in the trolley (BTW im 22 and my kids are 2 and 1 yr olds) and the amount of funny looks i got off of people,mainly older!!it was them lookingat me in disgust.
we dont scrunge off the government as my husband is in the army and has a good enough wage to support us all,we live in army accomadation which isnt exactly great but it will do and its a roof over our heads and much cheaper then council or a mortgage!!

just fed up of people judging us young mums when we do a great job of looking after our kids,age surely shouldnt matter as long as its what you both want and can support your family!!
i see so many times on here people saying im 18 and trying for a baby then people saying their too young..when most of the time the person asking the question is quite well off and could look after a child probably loads better then the person replying to tell them they are too young!!
IM A YOUNG MUM AND IM PROUD - IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT LOOK THE OTHER WAY!!!
 
you go girl!!!! you shout it out and be proud! i dont like evil looks either im 27 with a one year old daughter and i used to get some funny looks when my daughter was crying and its like 'what? shes a baby she cries bugger off' i dont see the problem with young mums its none of my business and i keep my thoughts to myself. tell u wot next time you get funny looks just say yes im a young mum and im proud so go glare somewhere else! glad someones said bout this i hate those horrid sods who think young mums are scroungin off the council if they can keep those flippin imigrants happy then they can help us out when we need it
 
Maybe your just a bit paranoid about it, i know some times i think people are looking at me funny if i am having a bad day. You look after your kids, your a happy young mum who cares what anyone thinks, dont let it bother you.
 
I was 17 when I fell pregnant with my son and for my 18th birthday I had dinner with friends and family at an "upper class" kind of club and the looks I got almost made me cry.
Well I soon learnt to get over it. I just try to ignore it the best I can and have found since I have ignored people I have got so many compliments on how well behaved my son is and how cute he is ect. I think it's because I have let my guard down a little.
The first time I was able to fully clam down about all the looks was when my son was about 8mths old and I had a bright idea one night. If my son is clean and dressed nice and so am I what do they have to judge me on? My age? Yeah but there are younger out there.

It's hard to ignore but once you do life feels so much easier.
I found too the looks I got when I was alone was kinda looks of disgrace but then when I was with my partner the looks so turned to looks of joy because they were proud we had made our relationship build stronger with having our son.

It's a weird weird world.
 
i AM 22 ALSO .. i HAVE NOT HAD TO WORRY ABOUT IT BUT THOUGHT I WOUL DSAY SRY THAT ITS HAPPEN TO U ........
 
Because they werent allowed to do that kinda stuff when they were younger so they hate us for it, and think were not ready. Im also 22 and i have 3 kids, and ive been a good mom, when ppl stare shit just them it wont change the fact that those are our kids and they cant say anything that will ever change that.
 
i'm also a 22 yr old mom, my son is 2. i understand what you're saying, people look at me funny too sometimes but i just say f--- 'em. i've been married to a good man for 3 yrs and i'm in school to become a nurse and we both work so i figure if somebody has a problem with me being a young mom they can kiss my ass. our son was unplanned but definitely welcome and our future children are also welcome whenever they come. i do a good job caring for my son and the last time i had to deal w/ CPS i yelled at them asking "do clean clothes look like abuse? how about toys and books? a fridge and pantry full of food look like abuse and neglect to you?!" and proceeded to kick them out of my house. they haven't bothered me since.

most ppl think 18 yr olds aren't mature enough to handle a baby and for many teens they're right but for moms like us they're wrong. i had to grow up faster than i should've and it's made me a very responsible person as a result. i've never had my utilities shut off for non-payment, i've never been evicted from any place and i've always made sure that my son comes first. i may be young but that just means i have more energy to play with my son.
 
Im 20, and sort of trying, just letting it happen if it does, it does, we've been together 6 yrs, we both make above average salaries, own our home, not married (by preference)
We could provide wonderfully for a child financially, and im sure we'll still get dirty looks. I take my 2 y.o nephew clothes shopping and i get death stares and comments about "babies having babies" and he's not even mine!!!..
I say Be Proud
 
IM A YOUNG MUM AND IM PROUD - IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT LOOK THE OTHER WAY!!! <<<<<<<< well said :)

I totally agree with you. I believe as long as you look after and care for your child it doesn't matter where you live, where you work or anything.
Who gives a damn what they think? It's your life and if you're enjoying it and you and your kids are happy then I really don't see the problem! You sound like a good mum and your kids will grow up no different from those brought up by 36 year old parents etc!
 
Seriously!!!!!! Im only 17 at the moment but i will be 18 at the end of October. I got pregnant at 16 almost 17(lost it) then again at 17 almost 18(lost it). And im going to try again at 18 and it will be born either when im 18 or early 19. And i think theres nothing wrong with it! If we have the abality(like monye and a home) to take care of it why shoul it mattre. Who cars if were younger. It doesn't mean that were going to be or are bad moms! So I totally agree with you 110%
 
Hiya you answered my questionearlier, Im 18 and ttc and i totally agree with her, Im in a goo situation my and my partner have good jobs a house etc, I know some teenage moms have babies to get houses and all that but you ev er thought some teens get pregnant even while trying to prevent it i think if they need help of the goverment till the babiesa fiew months old and goes into nursery and then they get a job, whatsne wrong with helping them, thats what its there for, 2 many people judge two quick, my sister had unplanned pregnancy and she had to get help of the goverment for first fiew months but now shes working, I hate judgemental people, im 18 and very mature and will ave as many children i like when i like, aslong as me and my partner can support them, its got nothing to do with these 30 year old mother who think they can do better.
 
I personally don't think its the age but how you take care of them. You can be a great mother from any age, and an irresponsible one at any age. Age does not make you a good or a bad mother, neither does experience, but how well you take care of them.
 
so true!! i was 19 when i had my little girl and i lost count of the dirty looks i got...it made me not want to go out. i found it was all the 30 something mums mainly...like u said they are all so judgemental, now though i dont care, im proud of what ive achieved at a young age and all on my own.
if any1 looks now i just do it back...im a young mum...and what??? you're an old mum...get over it!!!!! (thats kinda what goes thru my head ha)
 
Most of 18 years-old are not mature enough to have a baby.

They have no idea what it means.

It is not your situation and this is good for you and your baby

babies are the ones suffering with having immature parents
 
I know what you mean i'm 16 and i've got a 7 1/2 month old baby, when i was pregnant people would look at me in disgust even those who got pregnant when they were 18 which i don't think my situation was different to theirs except i'm still with the father and they aren't. Since i've had him people haven't been looking at me in disgust as much, people actually compliment me on how much of a good job i'm doing. I'm not 17 till august and me and my partner are already trying for baby num 2.
 
you are being judged along with the majority of young mums out there, who let's face it cannot support their children financially and are not in your privileged position of husbands wage etc. unfortunately there are a lot of young mums out there who go out purposely to get pregnant and have kids to get themselves a house at the governments expense and ultimately us, the taxpayer, pays for it because they are no good for anything else than making babies which we don't even want or need in this country and who will probably grow up to be just like their mum and scrounge a life too........

that's why you get the reactions, cos that's the majority of young mums in this country, UK, LOSERS!!!!!!
 
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