Who's in for a God joke?

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A middle age woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operation table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43years, 2 months and 8 days to live.
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone to come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

She got out of the hospital, after the last operation, and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years?"

God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
 
And god said "Now go back and live the 40 years I gave you".
Looking at what happened to her body after being ran over by the speeding ambulance, she replied "No way, who would ever gonna f uc k that body now! i'd rather be Dead."
 
Neal A. Maxwell - “It is one of the great ironies of human history that some mortals with incorrect understanding of God and life's purposes sometimes scold God because of the abundance of human misery and suffering—which, indeed, lies all about us. Such individuals almost dare God to demonstrate His existence by straightening things out—and at once! But He is a much different kind of Father than that. Surely it is requisite to eternal life that we come to know God and Jesus Christ whom He has sent (see John 17:3).”

Neal A. Maxwell - “It is better to trust and sometimes be disappointed than to be forever mistrusting and be right occasionally.”

Taken from: http://www.famousquotes.com/search.php?search=1&FirstName=Neal%20A.&LastName=Maxwell&field=FullName
 
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