Sarah Dylan
New member
OK, you may have seen my question a few days ago. I'm entering a poetry competition for under 18s (I'm 16) and I wanted to know if that poem was good enough. Well, I'm not tied between two poems. So I was wondering which one you think I should enter? Thank you.
Poem 1. The Cord.
Cherub hands, raised to the sky,
Backs to the ground, in the sand we lie.
Eyes like crescent moons, half closed in pleasure,
I’ll hold you, my child, my priceless treasure.
Lips curl softly over milk white teeth,
Like our hopes and dreams slide over belief.
As you run with your fragile childish gait,
A hunger for innocence that I couldn't sate.
With your hair like bitter-sweet chocolate swirls,
And your cheeks like radiant blushing pearls,
Your voice like an angelic rustling wind,
And your cry like a saint, whose hands have sinned.
I watch you with my maternal concern,
Knowing inside that you have to learn.
But long gone now are the childish times,
You no longer tell me your secret crimes.
You struggle so for you separation,
Whilst I cling on to your liberation.
Holding tight that confining cord,
You hack at me with your angry sword.
And though that cord was long since slashed,
Ever since we have struggled and thrashed.
The cord still ties us with invisible strings,
Chaining you down and restraining your wings.
I may deny it but inside I know,
That I hold you back for fear you’ll go.
That you’ll deny me your mother and forget our life,
You’ll grasp that cord and grasp your knife,
You’ll sever it for good and leave me to die.
But for now let me cradle you; in my arms may you lie.
Poem 2. The Search.
A kaleidoscope of colour
Assaults your eyes
You feel that much smaller
As your dignity dies
Fall from your pedestal
To the fires below
Remove you hat
Let them know
You need some guidance
A hand to hold
Walk through the coal-bed
Head hung to the scold
Your voice cries out
In that ignorant hole
Like a rusty horn
Your sound was stole’n
And your limbs flail out
Into the black
Can't grasp at nothing
With your hands in that sack
Don’t know where to go
Your feet are too few
To pursue all the options
To wander the blue
You’re alone in the desert
The sun burns your back
But you keep running
That weary track
Until your see her
The woman of knowing
She knew where you were
And where you were going
She laughs at the tears
In your eyes
Puts you in the trolley
And ignores your cries
But you’re safe now
No horn needs sounding
And as the panic fades
And your plane is grounding
Lost in the supermarket
A child of small years
The wall crashes down
And unleashes your fears
That you’re not so big
As you thought before
Your deity was false
So show it the door.
Which one?
Sorry it's teh wrong category, but I only received two answers in other categories and both answers were complete opposites, which doesn't help when making a decision...
Poem 1. The Cord.
Cherub hands, raised to the sky,
Backs to the ground, in the sand we lie.
Eyes like crescent moons, half closed in pleasure,
I’ll hold you, my child, my priceless treasure.
Lips curl softly over milk white teeth,
Like our hopes and dreams slide over belief.
As you run with your fragile childish gait,
A hunger for innocence that I couldn't sate.
With your hair like bitter-sweet chocolate swirls,
And your cheeks like radiant blushing pearls,
Your voice like an angelic rustling wind,
And your cry like a saint, whose hands have sinned.
I watch you with my maternal concern,
Knowing inside that you have to learn.
But long gone now are the childish times,
You no longer tell me your secret crimes.
You struggle so for you separation,
Whilst I cling on to your liberation.
Holding tight that confining cord,
You hack at me with your angry sword.
And though that cord was long since slashed,
Ever since we have struggled and thrashed.
The cord still ties us with invisible strings,
Chaining you down and restraining your wings.
I may deny it but inside I know,
That I hold you back for fear you’ll go.
That you’ll deny me your mother and forget our life,
You’ll grasp that cord and grasp your knife,
You’ll sever it for good and leave me to die.
But for now let me cradle you; in my arms may you lie.
Poem 2. The Search.
A kaleidoscope of colour
Assaults your eyes
You feel that much smaller
As your dignity dies
Fall from your pedestal
To the fires below
Remove you hat
Let them know
You need some guidance
A hand to hold
Walk through the coal-bed
Head hung to the scold
Your voice cries out
In that ignorant hole
Like a rusty horn
Your sound was stole’n
And your limbs flail out
Into the black
Can't grasp at nothing
With your hands in that sack
Don’t know where to go
Your feet are too few
To pursue all the options
To wander the blue
You’re alone in the desert
The sun burns your back
But you keep running
That weary track
Until your see her
The woman of knowing
She knew where you were
And where you were going
She laughs at the tears
In your eyes
Puts you in the trolley
And ignores your cries
But you’re safe now
No horn needs sounding
And as the panic fades
And your plane is grounding
Lost in the supermarket
A child of small years
The wall crashes down
And unleashes your fears
That you’re not so big
As you thought before
Your deity was false
So show it the door.
Which one?
Sorry it's teh wrong category, but I only received two answers in other categories and both answers were complete opposites, which doesn't help when making a decision...