Which certification is better MSCE,MCITP,CCNA,PHP. programming..etc for a promise IT jobs? Which one i can sel?

Which certification is better MSCE,MCITP,CCNA,PHP. programming..etc for a promise IT jobs?
Which one i can self study or dont have to go for school much.I need something decent and dont want to go to school forever to get a certification.
 
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