When it rains, it pours.

J

jalg_gali

New member
Hey guys, be ready for a long post...

So it all started the Friday before St. Patrick's day. My friend, lets call him Mike, was left the house after his dad had left for a week long rock-climbing trip to AZ. Knowing all well this may be the last time that he may have the house to himself, he starting to concoct a plan for a party at his house. So he invited a total of about 10 people, mostly foreign exchange students, and a few more good friends.

Well, that night, I had to work at my job till 11, and they stopped by around 8 to tell me that I should hurry up after work and go hang out with them. Well, 11 o'clock rolled around, and I needed to pick up one of my friends from his work. So, I get him, and we go back to Mike's house and the party had started far before we got there. Everyone had already drank their limit, pretty much, and most of them were pretty drunk. Well, the sober ones, including me, decided that we wanted to get some snacks, because I had to DD one person. Well, we come back an hour later, and I find my girlfriend crying, because apparently all of them started talking about their pasts, and my girlfriends isn't the most hospitable. Mind you, everyone is really drunk, and one of the foreign kids is already puking in the bathroom, and it isn't even 1 yet.

So, I drive home the girl that needed the DD, and my friend Forrest and I started talking about philosophical things, and what not, and my girlfriend comes out, and she seemed a little worried, because we had been gone for more than an hour. Apparently, one of my friends, we'll call him, Dan, tried to get under my girlfriends shirt, and try to make out with her. At that time, I didn't know that, but I went inside anyways, but decided that I wanted to go home, because I didn't drink, and didn't want to stay there. Here's where it gets interesting.

My girlfriend, knowing what had just happened, also didn't want to stay there, so I gave her a ride home. On the way there, we start having an argument. I pulled into the park less than a block away from her house, and we continued our argument there. After maybe 20 minutes, she storms out of the car, saying that shes going to walk more than 5 miles back to her car, in the cold, and drive home. I called her BS, and just started to drive away. Less than half a mile away, I got a text saying, "I told you I would die young." So I started to panic. I drive back to the park, and start calling out for her. I called for her twice, and I didn't get a response, so I did what I thought was right. I called 911.

Well, while on the phone with dispatch, she appeared behind me. So I'm really thankful that she was OK, but she wasn't going home. So the cops still had to come and escort her home. So, they said she would have to appear in court, but instead of giving a court date on the ticket, the cop crossed the date out, and said that she would receive something in the mail. I don't think shes going to get called in but who knows.

Now, after all this happens, she gets in trouble with her parents, and we don't talk for a few days. So one night, we actually get together after one of my shifts at work, and we go to perkins and talk. Everyone wants her to dump me, even though I did what I had to do. Mike really hadn't supported our relationship because we fought more often then most couples, but nothing really serious. Just small quarrels that we would find.

So comes up my moms birthday. We were planning on celebrating it this last Wednesday, and my girlfriend asked my mom to call her mom, so she would be able to attend. I told my mom what had happened, and she thought I did the right thing. Thing is, she was talking to my girlfriends mom, and they got into a dispute. Words were exchanged, and feelings were hurt. I was at work while this happened, so I didn't know what had happened till I got home. I texted my girlfriend when I got home to ask her if my mom had called, and she said no, because she didn't hear a phone ring or anything, and I told my mom that I didn't believe that she did, because both my parents are alcoholics, and I really don't trust my mom when shes drunk. So I told her that I didn't believe her, and both my parents just exploded at me. I didn't think it was a big deal, because it would all just be sorted out the next morning. No, they wouldn't let that happen. So we got into a huge argument, and I went to bed.

Next morning, my girlfriend calls me and tells me what had happened, and my mom had said that she was sorry that there was mental illness on her side of the family (which there isn't) and that there isn't any on my side, and just shit like that. So I go into my moms room, and start yelling at her. Apparently, I scared her so badly, that she didn't want to come home the next 4 days, because she thought that I was going to kill her, even though I had never made any threats towards her, or anything.

She just came home today. She says that my girlfriend is just a bad manipulator, and that she betrayed her, because of what had happened. I said that it was just a misunderstanding of information, and that we should all just drop it. I apologized to both my parents for what had happened, and I was sincere.

So because of all this, my depression has reared it's ugly head again, and I'm not sure where I should go from here...

I guess I just needed to vent, but some comments would be nice...

EDIT: Sorry for the novel...
 
Heres a venting idea : Go punch the dude that felt your g/f up in the throat. I guarantee you'll feel much better.

Anywho, girls that cause drama for attention get a nix in my book, so I think it's awesome she got a court day for being a moron. :thumbsup:

Anywho, whole thing sucks. G'luck.
 
I agree with Skelter, the first thing I would have done is torn that guy three new assholes. Kudos for having the balls to drive away on her, I wouldn't have been able to do that. Other than that, don't feel bad, you've been doing the best you could all along. I don't know anything about you, but it sounds to me like some of the people around you have got some issues, and that isn't your fault. Stay strong, my man.
 
Thing is, the kid that tried to feel up my girlfriend, was drinking too, and he did feel really sorry about it, and was ashamed. He didn't sit at the same table as her, nor even walk past her for the next 4-5 days, because he felt so bad about what had happened.
 
Oh, ok. If he had the balls to at least talk to her enough to apologize, then I guess he doesn't need a beating. Will you keep me updated on this and tell me if the thing with your parents blows over?
 
Well, last night it was my mom's 50th birthday, and so she found that as an excuse to get plastered. Well, she started talking about how my girlfriend betrayed her and manipulated our family or something, so I had to chime in and tell her that she was wrong, so we had that conversation, and I decided to go to my room and just leave the conversation at that. Well, she comes barging in, yelling and all, wakes my dad up (mind you this is at 1 AM), and my dad comes into my room, kicks and punches me in the stomach, one of each, and tells me that I need to move out by tomorrow (I'm 18 by the way).

Come this morning when I woke up, my dad came in an apologized to me, and told me to avoid any conflict that I may have with my mom or anyone of my family, so it looks like the storm might be letting up.

I'll keep you posted.
 
If my dad ever assaulted me, my brother or my mom, I would enter his room while he was sleeping and remove both his eyes. And he knows this. But again, that's just me. As for you, though, my continuing advice is to play it cool and keep a level head. Sounds like your situation might be improving.:thumbsup:
 
I read your whole post, and that's some bum luck there. Although I wouldn't have called 911, I cannot grasp the severity of the situation you were in, so I certainly don't fault you for it.

It seems as though you have a level head on your shoulders, far more level then any of those in your life that you have described. Petty quarells with a lover are not uncommon, and sometimes are even healthy (don't want to keep petty shit bottled up.)

There is no excuse, however, for physical abuse from your father. That must stop immediately. How, I couldn't even begin to tell you, because I simply just don't know, but that kind of shit is unforgivable and unnacceptable.

Good luck with everything, man, and keep us posted.
 
This may come off as mean, but that's not how I mean it. If you get what I mean.

Move out, don't date for a while, find some new friends, and hopefully a new start on life will help you sort yourself out.
 
Your girlfriend wanted attention or she would not have messaged you. Trust me, Im a girl, I know these things. I also think your girlfriend is either overly dramatic or really fucking dumb. No offence, but she did go to a party without you, got you caught up in drama, walked out of the car and away, and then messaged you saying she was going to die. I mean come on, how much more drama queen can you fucking get?????????

And I don't think you should ever yell at your mother for making an observation about your girlfriend. Moms usually sense things kids don't, and I know this because I am a mom.

As for your father, he was way out of context, but on the other hand, considering how your mother had reacted (thinking you were going to assualt her) his actions, from his point of view at the time, were justified, if only by anger.
 
I can't deny that my girlfriend can be a drama queen at times, but the thing was, we both agreed to go to the same party, and both to drink. Only thing was the party was pretty much over (and by over, I mean everyone was already drunk), so I didn't want to just get drunk without the social settings that were presented at the beginning.

I know that Mike is really upset with this whole thing, not because of what happened, but because of what didn't happen. He thinks that we should have broken up over this, and told me and her that he wouldn't support us as a couple, but he would support us as individuals.

I am going to be starting college this fall (University of Minnesota, Duluth), and I am planning on living in the dorms. Hopefully that will separate me from what has been forged the past 18 years of my life, and let me start anew.

The one thing that makes it hard for me to leave my girlfriend, or even to have a mutual separation, is that we click so well together. We've been dating for over 3 years now, and for those 3 years, we've really grown together. We're often finishing each other's sentences, thinking the same thing, even though we're not saying it, and all those little things. It's hard for me to think of anything better. Although, that might be because of us losing our friends 2 years ago, and pretty much being each other's best friends, along with being in a relationship.

Sure I've made friends while I've been dating her, but they really seem like superficial relationships. Like, I'm just friends with them, to be friends with them. I honestly don't see anything deeper with them than just being a friend. Am I setting my standards too high? Has my life with my girlfriend skewed my perception of what a friend should be, because even though we were in a relationship, I saw her as a friend. Have I poisoned my thoughts of friendship with insurmountable barriers, because my only real friend was my girlfriend?

Shit. Now I'm just confusing myself...

EDIT: My dad hasn't hit me for over 3 years, and I know its unacceptable, but he's got anger issues, and hes paying for my college, so I'm just going to take it for the next few months. I mean, I've lived with him for 18 years, whats a few more months till I move out to the dorm going to do to me?
 
So yeah, now apparently I have to go to therapy, which I don't think I need. I mean, how is someone going to help me if I dont feel that I need help? Are they going to try to break me into making me feel like I need help or change something that I know shouldn't be changed?
 
I hate to say it, but you're pretty much right about that. I speak from experience here. The first thing they will do is "befriend" you and hear you out. Then, they will decide what is "wrong" with you based on what you said--to attribute some label, some affliction they know how to treat, with whatever you tell them. The next step for them is to convince YOU that you indeed have whatever mental issue they decided you have(for me, it was "chemical imbalance"). Then, they lull you into thinking that curing their invented affliction will solve your problems. Finally they prescribe happy pills to you according to the label they've given you, and have you come back in a few months with the expectation that everything will solve itself between now and then.

What are your options, you say? You could try going along and see if that helps, or you can stick to what you believe and hold out for these next few months until you move out. I counted the days until I could leave home too. My thoughts are with you, pal. Let me know how it goes.
 
Yeah, thats what I thought. But what should I do about my girlfriend? Today she called me after she came back from the gym and told me that her and mike are no longer friends. I told her to call him, and sort it out with him, because talking to me wont make her situation any better, but she just made some drama out of it, like I was blowing her off or something.
 
If your girlfriend was my sister, I would tell her this:

You need to get the fuck over it. Yeah, it happened. He was drunk. He tried to kiss you and felt your boobs. He apologized. If he does it again, I'll put a bullet in his head. Other than that, the only thing that hurts is your pride and mabye you were a little bit scared. Its time to move on now.

As for what you should say, I have no idea, but the girl needs to get the fuck over it or resolve it somehow.

Ill tell you what I think she wants---more attention from you. Lots more.
 
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