When I say "free money"....

J

Johnny P

New member
I PROBABLY MEAN IT.


People are mongoloids.


srsly.

Today launched Chase's annual "Chase Picks Up The Tab" program, which goes on for at least a month, if not longer.


Which means....if you have a debit card with Chase, if you enroll in "Chase Picks Up The Tab", you could have a debit card purchase completely refunded by Chase.

As in....we would give you the money you spent on one purchase BACK.

As in....you pretty much got the stuff you bought FOR FREE.

It's so fucking simple. You enroll. You use your debit card as a credit (just don't put your PIN in) card. Every 500 purchases NATIONWIDE wins. If your purchase is one of those....that purchase is refunded.

WHY IS THAT SO FUCKING DIFFICULT?!

Yes, there is monetary gain for Chase, but it's not from customers....it's cheaper for Chase to process electronic transactions as opposed to paper. That's why. Dipshits. We don't "refund you less". If your purchase is $165.43, you get refunded $165.43.

Hell, if you buy a motherfucking BURRITO from Taco Bell (which is a little over $1) YOU GET REFUNDED $5. More than what you spent. Of couse, if your purchase is over $200, you only get refunded $200. But hey....it's still some money back right?

I honestly had to reiterate about 200 times (literally. I saw about that many customers today. Woot social security.).

Do I have LIAR tattooed across my forehead or something? I mean really now. If your purchase is a winner, you don't have to pay the bank back. What's the point of giving it back to you in the first place? Cockmunch.

"Yes Mr. Customer, when I say your purchase COULD be refunded, I mean it could be refunded by Chase. There is no cost to you at any time, now, or later on down the road. It's giving money back to you. That's it. Don't make me repeat this same line to you again, because I've got a line out the door because my fatass lazy fucking coworker just had to take the first of the month off, even though she knows how fucking crazy it gets and that I haven't been assigned guardianship of one of the machines yet."
 
Now, this isn't the problem. Your real problem is going to start when the morons who got the card for this one time thing think that it goes for the duration of the card...or that it works even if they use it as debit and not credit only transactions...thats when hell will break loose.

I know this because 1--people who got 1 yr no interest on a Dell account call back in 13 months wanting to know why they got charged interest on their Dell account and 2..people who qualified for Dell account and wanted to know why the got charged interest when they used Amex to make the purchase.

Yeah. People are dumb.
 
People are dumb. That's why I had to patiently explain to a customer today how to properly load paper into a large capacity feeder on a photocopier. It kinda went like this:

"Every time I load paper in this drawer, it doesn't work. I have to redo it."

"Well you have to make sure that this flipper can move smoothly in betwen the two stacks of paper."

"I do! And it already takes me five minutes to load the drawer! What's wrong with the people who make these things? Can't they make them more user friendly?"

*I unload the whole drawer and take two minutes to properly load it.*

Me: "Well, we've found that it works best if you split a ream (of paper) into about three sections and alternate between each side so the flipper thingy doesn't get jammed."

"Well that's time consuming! Don't the people who make these things realise that time is money in a business environment?"

"....well, we don't make 'em, but we've found that this works best for loading them. Now, if you want an easier way to load the paper, you can do it like... (explain idea) ...but then you'd be loading it twice as often."

I can't remember anything after that. But people are stupid. (That's not to mention coworkers.) I've seen that alot with my current job. If you like your job, sorry to say this but ya just gotta live with it.
 
See that's what I don't get. Yeah, bankers can be really pushy....but unlike a car salesman, they HAVE to tell you the truth. It's required by law. They even have to tell you the deposit rates of other banks if you ask. If you ask them to tell you the fine print about the account you are thinking of opening-number of times you can be hit with an overdraft fee in one day (at Chase, it's five. At BoA, it's seven), whether or not you can opt out of the bank paying for your purchases if you go overdrawn (you can. You have to do it in writing, but you can), how much your checks cost, whether or not you get free money orders and cashier's checks, service fees, they are required by law to answer you honestly.

Oh and 53V hun....it's not a sales pitch. The bank isn't selling anything.


Edit: To any old people on this site....BRING YOUR GODDAMN GLASSES TO THE BANK. Especially on the third of the fucking month.

No, you old biddy, I cannot fill out your check for you. THAT'S ILLEGAL. I could be fired on the spot for that.

Hey, Old Man Asshole....I don't know how much to withdraw from your account IF YOU DON'T FUCKING TELL ME! YOU know how much is in your account....I DON'T. Don't sit there and after I have handed you your money say "But that's not all I wanted to withdraw" THAT'S WHAT THE SLIP YOU FILLED OUT SAID DIPSHIT.

Look dude....I don't care what letter you got from the Social Security office said, only one check was deposited. The bank did not "steal" it or hide it, we are not lying to you about it, AS YOU CAN SEE ON THE GODDAMN SCREEN. The people you talk to are at the SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE. They deposit the checks, NOT US.

I don't care HOW long you have been banking with us, or how much you have in our banks, I will not give you a motherfucking PENNY without some ID. Yeah bitch, I get that you have money here, and that "everyone knows you" or so you say. Obviously not, because I've been here almost a year and I don't know you. Oh what's that? You're asking for people who have not been here in YEARS. Get your motherfucking ID.

NO I'm not giving you your boyfriend's balance! I don't care that you just deposited money into his account...you're not on it, so I'm not giving you HIS personal financial information. IT'S AGAINST THE GODDAMN LAW YOU NINNY.

PLEASE, at least learn enough motherfucking English so that you understand me when I say "You have a negative balance in your account. You can't cash a check right now"

Get over the goddamn check cashing fee. If you don't like it, take your paycheck to WalMart and see if we care. I'll give you a hint: we don't. We don't give a shit if the person who gave you the check has an account with us....OBVIOUSLY they do, otherwise your fat irritating ass wouldn't be here, now would it?

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS SACRED, I CANNOT DEPOSIT INTO A GODDAMN BANK OF AMERICA ACCOUNT! WE ARE NOT BANK OF AMERICA! YOU HAVE NEVER DEPOSITED INTO A BANK OF AMERICA ACCOUNT FROM CHASE BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE! STOP GETTING PISSY YOU FAT CUNT!
 
Most rational people understand there's one infallible law of life. Nothing in this world is free. Ever. So, people are naturally and understandably leery about things like this.
 
I'm wondering what the catch is to this particular program?

I'm guessing the enrollment information is sold. Unless Chase has become a non-profit, they've got to be making money off this somehow.
 
Actually it is possible. Deposit the check into thier account at Chase. Then You just need the routing info and checking account for both accounts. Customers can do this online by themselves at shit, every bank I've ever been to. But it takes about 2 wks. If they don't have a chase account then they are fucking retarded for walking into the Chase bank.

Chase will make money off of the payback plan because its a ONE time pay back plan. This means you sign up, you buy something, you get paid back, you still have a Chase account. Trust me, those marketing dudes did a shit ton of research on this. Every see those online or mailer surveys you get 1$ for filling out that say "Choose your preferred option: 1. Money back, 2. NO APR, 3. One Free Purchase."
 
It's cheaper for Chase to process electronic transactions as opposed to paper ones.

DG, I cannot deposit into a Bank of America accounts. What you're talking about is a wire transfer, which is an entirely separate transaction. BoA cannot deposit into Chase, but we can wire money to and from each other. Wires do not equal deposits, and wires cost money. I cannot do a wire.

The payback is for your checking account, not a credit card. You have a 1 in 500 chance of winning. The money made is money we save by not processing paper, but electronically. There is no APR. You get money back on a purchase, which equals out to Chase paying for it. We could probably do it all year long if we could convince enough customers to switch to debit cards, which a large portion of Chase customers frequently use. All Chase customers have to do is run their debit card as a credit.
 
Maybe they don't trust banks because they do everything they can to butt rape the customers.

How about when I have 100 dollars in my checking account and my first purchase is 10 dollars, then 20, then 5 and my last purchase is 80 cash the other goddamn checks FIRST rather than holding them until the 80 dollar one comes in so I only get ONE MOTHERFUCKING OVERDRAFT FEE INSTEAD OF 4, FUCKING CROOKS!!!!!!!
 
Three words -- Overdraft Transfer Protection. You should have your checking account tied into another account like a savings, credit card, or line of credit.

More words -- Keep your checking account balanced and don't write checks you can't cash immediately.
 
Back
Top