When do I start feeling normal?

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Dreamingoutloud

New member
I want to thank that posters in this thread:



and hope that they're all still doing well.

I stopped taking percocet six days ago and am having terrible psychological symptoms. I'm a chronic pain patient, with an addictive personality, so i've been down this road before...but this has been my hardest stint.
I was on lots of percs for me...15 per day....then I went to suboxone which was a nightmare...I couldn't get off of it for 2 months. I had horrible anxiety attacks when I tried. I went the clonidine and ativan route and it still didn't work, so I went back on the percs for about 10 days and tapered myself all the way down.

I've now been off suboxone for 21 days (thank you G-d) and off of the percocet for 6, like I said.
I sure hope that I could start to feel "normal" pretty soon. I have crying jags and i'm not a very pleasant person, I guess. I've pushed everyone away from me.
Maybe it's so bad this time because I lost my job a month ago and don't have much to take up my time? I don't know...

I do know that reading through this thread has helped me so much!! I know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel...but I hope that i'm pretty close to that light now...I feel so shakey and weepy...it's been 6 days, shouldn't that be over by now?

Thanks for listening guys and gals...
Dream...
 
Hello dreamingoutloud - Just like Secrets and the others said - it takes time! Lots of time before you feel normal, plus your body neeRAB to start learning how to make endorphins (the natural chemicals in your body that make you feel good) all over again. The natural endorphin process in your body has been turned off because the opiates have taken over for it. So, you have to PUSH yourself to get them working again. It's like trying to start an old lawnmower that has been sitting all winter out in the shed. It takes a lot to get the motor started again and to keep running.

I love to hike and see the outdoors, so my endorphin re-building plan was based around that. Finishing a hike up'd my endorphin level each time and recently I started going thru my Bucket List, seeing and doing things that I've wanted to do since I was a child (a very long time ago). I just completed two Bucket List items in one shot and I'm high on the world again.

Find things that really make you feel good inside and start planning to do them to get those natural endorphins flowing again and you will begin to start feeling normal again. I stopped taking opiates 6 months ago and I "think" I'm finally back, or close to normal, as I can get. Unfortunately, there is not a magic pill we can take to make it go away and start all over again. It requires work, pain and lots of short-term goals leading to larger goals. My long-term goal is one year and I'm halfway there. More Bucket List items need to be completed... :-) Good Luck to you!! You will feel normal again in time.
 
Thanks Deno and Ihatcats for your replies...I have 34 days clean from sub and 18 clean from percocet...so it's been 18 days since i've taken a narcotic and i'm feeling better and better. I get out every single day...I actually have to work with being able to stay in the house with myself, if you know what I mean?

I've been sleeping better, but it tenRAB to differ night to night...I've been dealing with hot flashes...not sure if it's from withdrawal or perimenopause...i'm in that age bracket *sighs*, so that interrupts my sleep too...

I've been spending a lot of quality time with my daughter....we laugh a lot, which a long with the tons of walking that i've been doing is helping to rebuild those endorphins.

I'm still feeling kinda tired...i'm hoping that will dissipate, since I have a great vacation coming up next month. That should help me make a boat load of endorphins too!

I'm really grateful for this site...I haven't posted a ton, but I have read lots and that's helped me through the depression and anxiety which have lifted, thank goodness.

I feel lucky to have gotten through the dark days of withdrawal...and am so excited to cross another clean day off the calendar! This is such hard work...but it's so worth it! To not have to count pills, wonder if i'd have enough to get through...etc, is such a relief...Life is getting more wonderful day by day...but it's still a challenge.

Nope, i'm not back completely to my old self...but i'm tons closer than I was! There are lots of smiles and I think i've cried most of my tears...

Thank you everyone, again! You rock and are such special people!!

Dream--
 
Hey Dreamingoutloud,

I first and foremost am sorry to hear of your struggles. I completely understand and may not have the best news for you but the truth is what you need to help prepare yourself. Speaking only for myself...... The mental mood swings, weeping, anger, sad, DEPRESSED beyond belief lasted a while for me. It took a good 3 months before I started to come out of the dark. The reason is because your brain is so used to that drug and now that it has been taken away it has to figure out how to work again with out the drug. It does crazy things to a persons body and mind. However, some people recover more quickly than others so this may not be the same for you.

My best advice is to post it out..... Vent, cry to us.... Feel free to read any of my previous posts... I must have read hundreRAB upon hundreRAB of posts when I was in your shoes. I was so depressed. I quit in Nov. and there are still hard days. I was put on a anti depressant and it took a while for it to kick in but honey if you can hang on...... you will feel ALIVE again. I promise. Unfortunetly..... time is what it takes.

You have a great support system here and don't be erabarrassed to share your thoughts! I have shared so much and just telling "someone" made it better.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers my new friend. Hang on for dear life because you are worth it! Please KUP!
 
I think you need to get some psychological help. Call your county's mental health phone nuraber

Is there anyone that can help you right now? I know that when you are in the deep throws of depression, just getting out of bed can seem to be overwhelming. You can do this. I just think if you had someone that could do some of work, like trying to find a doctor that would prescribe you an anti-depressant, or maybe a mood stabilizer. I know that when I went cold turkey from Oxycontin & Percocet that it took at least 2 weeks for me to even get out of the withdrawal part. It was like having the worst flu and it took another week or two for my strength and mental faculties to return. Keep posting hear as there are alot of great people here. Maybe try to get out and go to a 12 step meeting such as Narcotics Anonymous (they are great group of support people too).

brian
 
Hi everyone--

A quick update...

I have three weeks clean of everything and I'm starting to feel a bit more "normal"...I haven't had a hot flash in two days (knock wood), but I'm still dealing with the tiredness.

Mentally i'm doing much, much better. It's frustrating when I can't sleep...but i'm having more and more days where that isn't an issue. The ability to lie down in my bed and not feel anxious is wonderful...dare I same it sometimes feels good to lie down again.

I'm still dealing with feeling a bit weird when I just stay home. I've been getting out every single day...coming home felt like a trigger to me for a while, but that's going away too...

I've been reading lots of posts here....they've been very helpful to me.

I'm not 100% yet, but thinking back to how I felt 3 weeks ago, I'm so grateful. Thinking back to those dark days will help me to stay on the right track. At 47 I'm too darn old to put myself through that again! Sheesh...time to grow up, deal with my feelings, and live a good, clean, happy life.

I hope that everyone's doing well...I wish you peace in your lives and your recoveries...

Dream...
 
Thank you Secrets and Brianpain33 for replying and being there for me.

It's day 8 off of everything and i'm feeling better than I was at day 6. I've been getting out every day. I feel that it's important to breathe fresh air and get some sunshine on my face. In fact i'm sporting a tan!

Yesterday I went to a movie with my daughter. It involved travelling into the city so by the time the movie was over I felt exhausted, but it was wonderful to laugh so hard!

I didn't sleep that well last night, so i'm feeling tired today, but hopeful. I'm not ruling out seeking some counselling, but i'm going to give my body a few more days to come back from the abuse I put it through.

I'm trying to eat a lot healthier and I've started a multi-vitamin. I've been listening to lots of music (U2 are my favorites! I'm going on vacation to see them on tour in the UK next month...which is a very big incentive to try and feel better!), and I've been watching my favorite comedy shows as well.

I'm by no means feeling "normal" yet. It's been 8 days and I hope that every day will get better for me.

I'll be coming here to read and post. You have such great ideas and I feel such support from you. Reading everyone's stories is such an inspiration!

Thank you again...so, soooo much for caring!! I hope that I can help others as well...

Dream...
 
I didn't have a chance to read all the replies, but it does sound like you are in some stage of depression--which is normal. If you are able to, try to get outside and take a short walk each day. getting moving helps release the natural endorphins in the brain that have sleeping while you were using.

It takes time, but you will feel normal again.
 
HELLO!!!i just wanted to reply to your qeustion when do you get to feel normal ??? i don't know how to start this out. the books I have read tell you it takes awhile?? for you to start feeling normal about your self. you just have to keep on working it (program). you also have to be true to your self and others around you! i'm still not feeling normal yet and i have a ways to go but i'm not pushing it to fast!!! i'm not sure if this is helping you at what i said? it might take years before any of us start to feel normal again? and what is normal does any one really know NO!!!! PLEASE TAKE IT ONE TIME A DAY!!!! THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO!!! :angel:
 
If you think that you might be having some symptoms of depression then please see your family doctor or get referred to a psychiatrist. They can really help with counseling or even getting on some type of anti-depressant or mood stabilizer. I have heard to wait at least 30 days after getting clean to get treated for depression but it all depenRAB on how bad the symptoms are. I had to start on an anti-depressant when I decided to get off of Ultram(tramadol) because the depression hit me so hard but I did have depression before I even started on that.

brian
 
Hi everyone--

A quick update. I have one month clean (yay!) as of yesterday and i'm feeling soooo much better! The anxiety and depression are gone and i'm getting my energy back!

It was a hard road, but certainly well worth it! I'm going to remeraber how tough this was, and will work hard to maintain my sobriety.

Life is feeling good again....I'm feeling more "normal" every day!! Hallelujah!

Thanks for everyone's support. I read all of your posts and found some great advice there!!

I wish everyone a peaceful, happy day...

---Dream
 
Alright that is really great. :D And make sure you NEVER forget the withdrawal process and what it was like so you don't have to repeat it in the future. If you get cravings, just play that tape forward and think about how things ended up on the drugs. take care

brian
 
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