Whats the funniest quote you have ever heard?

Mines is "I suddenly felt somebody come up behind me and whizz me round so I was face down on the bed and then I felt a prick on my throat". It was about John Savident being stabbed by a rent boy. Still it made me laugh
 
lol.

i cant think right now, lots of things have made me laugh, especially programs like QI and harry hill.

My MIL made me laugh last night, asking whether Robert Webb was a welder by trade

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lz6k5Zg2wA
 
Iwazza

The woman in the churchill quote was the famous MP Bessie Bradock who did look like a bag of spanners.

Einstein had some good ones, my favourite is

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

I also like another by Einstein

"If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."
 
Winston Churchill when a woman told him he was drunk:

Yes I am drunk madam, and you are ugly but in the morning I will be sober.
 
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