what would you think of me based on my poetry?

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lily

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I have to submit two poems for a class but am too lazy to write them, so I'm submiting ones that I have already written just for myself.

However, I feel very exposed and am now re-thinking my decision.
Please let me know your opinion. (I'm not asking if they are "good" or not ... I know they're not, but don't really care.)

Here's one:

Song.
Once pure and clear,
Like a crystal pane,
My song was born.

Once like the timeless orb,
The majestic sun,
My song never stopped.

As all of earth was touched by light,
So my heart knew my song.

Pensive notes escape from my lips,
To paint a sonorous picture,

Sounding like a flame softly waning,
Disappearing into the air.

As it is impossible to know where the sun ends and her rays begin,
So you can't hear where my song ends and nothing begins.

Like glass breaking,
Purity ends.

Here's the other one:

A Glimpse of Serenity
I see the world from afar,
I'm up at heavens peak,
Truculent surroundings are gone from my sight,
And mortal bearing is unequal to mine eye,

The essence of my heart sings,
There is a cool deep within my soul,
And all is peaceful.

Then it is time,
For the stillness to break,
And the malignant world to obscure my vision.

As I drift from my utmost place,
Towards spiteful humanity,

I know I will find a way,
To elevate my soul,
And sing again.
 
I think their pretty. Who gives a poop what other people think about them or feel... they are your work (that's cool enough right)??
 
I think their pretty. Who gives a poop what other people think about them or feel... they are your work (that's cool enough right)??
 
I would say that you are a loner and distance yourself from the excesses of the human race.Perhaps you have been hurt in life and have retreated from the forefront but hope to return again when you have recovered
 
You're not going to "expose" yourself. I think it is fine if you submit those two poems. Have some self-confidence! Both are good, especially the second one posted.
 
It seems you are a person who wants to have people understand you. You're claiming that no one understands you from these poems, and you feel too tired to go on with the self-pity and so you want to just be yourself? I'm not sure. Evaluating poems aren't my forte, so I'm sorry if I was no help. (:
 
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