you, and ask "why"? I told my 4 1/2 year old that he could play in a certain room but that he could not leave and go somewhere else (I wanted to know where he was, and make sure he didn't go into the kitchen area and get hurt, there were four ovens and two stove tops running). He said he understood, and we began to read books and play. Outside in the big open foyer was one of his friends who is five. He was running wild, screaming, going in and out of the kitchen, throwing balls at vases, in general causing trouble. I have no idea where his mother was, but she wasn't watching him. Anyway, he came into the room, and my son invited him to play with us. The other boy said no, and asked my son to come out with him. My son said that he wasn't allowed to (I was shocked, but very happy, that he didn't go running). The other kid asked why, and my son said that his mom said he couldn't. I thought that would be the end, but instead the kid comes up and asked me why. I said, "Because I'm his mom, and that's reason enough." Apparently, that wasn't reason enough. The kid asked me "but why" about seven times, and each time I said that I was his mom, I told him he couldn't and I didn't want him hurt, or in the way. Finally, he gave up and left.
What do I, or can I, say in situations like that to put an end to it right away. I don't like that he thought he had the authority to argue with me and demand a reason when I don't feel like I owe him one. I also don't like that it put me in a situation where my own son might start to question me and other authority figures when he meets and answer he doesn't like. A little questioning is acceptable, but not being relentless, nor would I like it if my son were questioning other adults on their choices (I'd be mortified if either of my boys did that).
I may not have said this in my original, but when he asked the second time, I said, "I don't want him to get into anything, or get hurt in the kitchen. That's my decision and I'm his mom, so I get to make that decision."
So I did answer his question, however, he just didn't like it, or take it as an answer, when there was a direct reason given.
What do I, or can I, say in situations like that to put an end to it right away. I don't like that he thought he had the authority to argue with me and demand a reason when I don't feel like I owe him one. I also don't like that it put me in a situation where my own son might start to question me and other authority figures when he meets and answer he doesn't like. A little questioning is acceptable, but not being relentless, nor would I like it if my son were questioning other adults on their choices (I'd be mortified if either of my boys did that).
I may not have said this in my original, but when he asked the second time, I said, "I don't want him to get into anything, or get hurt in the kitchen. That's my decision and I'm his mom, so I get to make that decision."
So I did answer his question, however, he just didn't like it, or take it as an answer, when there was a direct reason given.