What to do to help depress and inactive Mother in law?

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JaneDoe

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My mother in law started getting depressed and inactive when her only son(my husband) and I got married. She's in her early 50s but refused any suggestions that we have so she can get out of inactivity and depress mode such as joining seniors arts and club or volunteer. We live with her for 6 months and she makes me depress and sick (my pressure gone up), so I decided to get an apartment near her place, so my husband can visit and check on her easily. She's currently taking two medications but it seems that it helps her calm down but not to be active...she refuse to do anything in her house like cleaning but was able to cook for herself and never missed her meal....I just thought if she can cook her meal why cant she do something else? I feel bad for my husband because he needs to spend his only day off cleaning his mom's house. I dint know anything about depression, so I cant really tell what a person are capable of doing...but is there a way a person can snap out of it and function again normally....I know a lot of people suffering from it but was able to live a normal life...Is there any help we can do to help her being active again and have a life again?
 
I'm sorry to hear what's going on. You can't just "snap" out of depression. I don't know the details of your situation but perhaps she felt like she didn't really have a purpose anymore - no more "kids" to take care of, all married and/or moved away.

The harder you push her to "do something", the more she will resist. She needs for others to understand that she is in pain and for them to understand what she is feeling.

When you're depressed, you have no desire to do anything "fun" and nothing really interests you. One thing that can help is to start establishing routines (laundry every Tuesday, grocery shopping every Thursday, vacuuming every Friday, stuff like that). Once she starts to get routines (and her house) back under control, she'll be more inclined to join groups, etc. But when you try to "help" her start some routines, just do one baby step at a time and DO NOT let her think that you are telling her what to do.

Would it be possible for you to find some of her old friends or a minister to talk to her? The clergy are generally trained in some mental health counseling, so that's a place to start.

Good Luck.
 
Hey, early 50's isn't that old anymore! You're describing a woman who sounds like she's about 75, and spoiled ROTTEN!! Why is her son your husband cleaning her house, for cryin' in the grog?! That's part of the problem...she's playing him like a fiddle, and he's dancing to her tune like a puppet.

If you two kids moved far, far away, or at least across town, maybe Fat, Neurotic, Beeyotch would get off her hiney and clean her own house, lose weight, feel great, meet a new man (NOT her own son), and get out of your hair.

If you don't WHIP mama's boy into shape, if you know what I mean and I think you do, I predict a d-i-v-o-r-c-e. Either that, or you'll be the one over there cleaning Mommy Dearest's house. Is that what you want?
 
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