Here's the thing: my girlfriend and I have been together for nearly three years. We've been living together for almost as long. I love seeing her everyday and she feels the same about me. We even used to work at the same place at the same time and this has never been an issue for us. We only really have problems when her family comes around. They've never been a big part of her life and she's been swapped around from mom to dad to grandma in a repeated cycle all of her life. Whenever her sister calls it's because she wants something from her. Well, her dad just recently got out of prison and comes to visit us. The problem is, I feel really uncomfortable when he's here. He doesn't just visit and leave; he stays for a few days at a time. Not only that, he's always just sleeping on the couch anytime I feel comfortable enough to pass through the living room. We went on a little date night (saw a movie, went to the bookstore and came home) and in the time it took to do that, he was passed out drunk on the couch with the Charlies Angels dvd menu looping. This isn't really anything new, but we've been fighting today and I was a little fed up with him. I mean, here she is trying to win over the approval of a man who's never really been there for her, and all he does is sleep, drink, and smoke when he's here.
Anyway, I tried to tell her how I feel about him and it's obviously a very sensative issue because I can't get two complete sentences out before she starts telling me that no one's ever been there for her and I'm a bad guy for saying things like that. He just gave her a car (which I appreciate btw) because of money that built up during his jail time. She says I'm ungrateful, but I'm thinking a $4k car doesn't really make up for a lifetime of not being there.
Now to my real point: we've been fighting and I've said some things and she said some things that I think we both regret. All the while her dad is still passed out on the couch. She refuses to see where I'm coming from and I can't accept where she's coming from. It just doesn't feel right that she'll jump through hoops for this man or the rest of her family for that matter and it feels like they don't even care. What's the best way to handle this situation? She's a very sweet and sensitive person who has been through a lot. I don't want to put anymore burdens on her.Should I suck it up and let it pass or should I try to get her to see what she's blocking from her head?
Anyway, I tried to tell her how I feel about him and it's obviously a very sensative issue because I can't get two complete sentences out before she starts telling me that no one's ever been there for her and I'm a bad guy for saying things like that. He just gave her a car (which I appreciate btw) because of money that built up during his jail time. She says I'm ungrateful, but I'm thinking a $4k car doesn't really make up for a lifetime of not being there.
Now to my real point: we've been fighting and I've said some things and she said some things that I think we both regret. All the while her dad is still passed out on the couch. She refuses to see where I'm coming from and I can't accept where she's coming from. It just doesn't feel right that she'll jump through hoops for this man or the rest of her family for that matter and it feels like they don't even care. What's the best way to handle this situation? She's a very sweet and sensitive person who has been through a lot. I don't want to put anymore burdens on her.Should I suck it up and let it pass or should I try to get her to see what she's blocking from her head?