What things should we discuss before getting married/engaged?

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oBhUiCoKsEtYaEtSe

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My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and we're pretty much on track for getting married after graduation. But there are some things that I want to get straight with him before we make that commitment, like how we will raise children, who is responsible for taking care of the house, how we'll spend our money, etc. Do you have any advice of other important things we should discuss? Thanks in advance for all your suggestions!
This is in response to Very Honest's post:
I don't know why you're berating me, telling me I'm rushing. We've been together for 2 years, we won't even be engaged for at least another year and won't be married for another year after that. That's well within your idyllic 3-5 year time period anyways.

And how would I already know the answers to these questions if we hadn't discussed them? I know him very well and I don't want to assume his stance on certain issues; that's why I want to set things straight before we enter into a commitment to one another.

I'm doing a mature and responsible thing here by planning a sustainable and healthy marriage THAT WILL STILL BE SEVERAL YEARS IN THE FUTURE YET, and all I'm asking for is advice. You can go rant your babble about children in broken homes to someone else because I am a responsible adult here trying to create a stable marriage and see that my future children are safe, happy and loved.
I probably should have clarified this. When I say graduation, I mean from college. I'm not a high schooler. I'm 21.
 
Good for you. Actually, look into pre-marital counselling - there are some really awesome programs.
Religion is an important one - do you have the same beliefs? If you don't, where is the compromise going to come from regarding in what faith the children will be raised, and what will happen with holidays.
About children - not just the number, but what about one of you becoming a stay at home parent? what if it turns out that you or him are infertile - are either of you willing to go the technology route, or adoption, or stay married without children?
Make sure you have chemistry - THE SPARK - and are not just 'best friends', though of course the latter is important, but you need both. When my husband comes home after a day at work, my heart still goes pitter-patter! My teen son told me a few months ago that he thought it was so cool how my husband's eyes 'light up' when he sees me after us being apart the whole day - so COOL that our son noticed this. (Well, his newest expression towards us is "Get a room, already" - because we're still so smooshy with each other - not inappropriate, lol.)
If you were pregnant, almost due, and something horrific happened - and only one of you could be saved, either you or the baby being born - and you are out of it, so your husband needs to make the decision -- which of you will he save, and why??
(Note, to the above question - my husband's answer differed significantly before we got married, to after we had our son two years after we got married)
Is he willing to have one joint bank account, where all money coming in goes into, then all bills get paid out of?
Have you been around each other's families enough, so they know and love each of you on both sides?
If he's ever around children now, does he actually play with them? (That's what 'sold' me on my husband, actually, him coming over to my mom's house when we were dating, and my siblings were there with the kids - everyone in the living room talking - and he said the perfunctory hellos, etc. - then he got down on the living room carpet to play with the kids - it was SO cool!) (My family just went, "WOW!" to me later!)
What if one of you should develop significant health issues a few years after marriage (not to be a downer, but it does happen) or have an accident - are you both totally committed emotionally and financially able to support the other one?
Wishing you luck - it's an amazing journey!
(Happily married almost 19 years - and over the years our love has just grown stronger and deeper - and the chemistry is STILL there!)
 
Money, does he want children, how he wants to raise children
you need to know he's not lazy and will work around the house as much as you do
 
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