So, most of you know I just got over swine flu. Well, during the course of it (because I was sleeping so much) I skipped maybe four days worth of my Lexapro. A little bit of information about why I take it.
I won't go into why exactly I have been taking this medication, only that it got pretty bad for me to have to start taking it. Military's orders.
I noticed on Monday when we went back to school that I was having trouble concentrating. Tuesday, when I woke up, I had a horrble cramp in the back of my leg, which I thought was associated with sleeping in an awkward position. But then last night rolled around, and I felt like I was in hell.
My mood bottomed out, and I started thinking all the things that I hate to think about myself. Things that I deem "failures" in my life. 3D was there for me, and assured me that none of these were failures, because they had underlying factors which led to them. That made me feel a bit better, and I ended up finishing my math homework which I had previously told 3D I didn't give a damn about doing because I was going to fail anyway. Completely irrational thought, considering that I'm making a fucking 94 in the class. Then, later that night, every single muscle in my body is tense. My lower back and upper back, my legs, my arms, and under my neck being the worst of them all. Any time I moved I felt like I was pulling a semi just to turn a little bit.
I hate the way my mind works, so I guess that's why it fascinates me. I've known for a long time that the chemicals weren't right up there, but I go through stages without having to have my medication. My life seemed pretty normal, so when I caught the flu (not normal) I thought that maybe I could not take them for a while, considering all the other crap I had in my system at the time.
I was wrong. But the funny thing is, it's never happened before. So why now?
TL;DR VERSION - I didn't take my meds on my own fault during the flu, my mind went rollercoaster on me, and my body locked up. Never have had that happen before, even though I've skipped dosages previously. Any thoughts on what could be a playing factor? I'm thinking maybe school and job stress, but I don't know.
I won't go into why exactly I have been taking this medication, only that it got pretty bad for me to have to start taking it. Military's orders.
I noticed on Monday when we went back to school that I was having trouble concentrating. Tuesday, when I woke up, I had a horrble cramp in the back of my leg, which I thought was associated with sleeping in an awkward position. But then last night rolled around, and I felt like I was in hell.
My mood bottomed out, and I started thinking all the things that I hate to think about myself. Things that I deem "failures" in my life. 3D was there for me, and assured me that none of these were failures, because they had underlying factors which led to them. That made me feel a bit better, and I ended up finishing my math homework which I had previously told 3D I didn't give a damn about doing because I was going to fail anyway. Completely irrational thought, considering that I'm making a fucking 94 in the class. Then, later that night, every single muscle in my body is tense. My lower back and upper back, my legs, my arms, and under my neck being the worst of them all. Any time I moved I felt like I was pulling a semi just to turn a little bit.
I hate the way my mind works, so I guess that's why it fascinates me. I've known for a long time that the chemicals weren't right up there, but I go through stages without having to have my medication. My life seemed pretty normal, so when I caught the flu (not normal) I thought that maybe I could not take them for a while, considering all the other crap I had in my system at the time.
I was wrong. But the funny thing is, it's never happened before. So why now?
TL;DR VERSION - I didn't take my meds on my own fault during the flu, my mind went rollercoaster on me, and my body locked up. Never have had that happen before, even though I've skipped dosages previously. Any thoughts on what could be a playing factor? I'm thinking maybe school and job stress, but I don't know.