What should I do? please help? friend with mental health problems?

N

needadvice86

New member
I was friends with this person fro 2 years, we then dated for 2 years but split up as my family disapproved of our relationship. She had had a trouble upbringing, she was abused by her mother when she was young and had suffered a sexual abuse during a previous relationship, this had left her with severe self esteem issues and mild depression. She was however very bright and caring.

A few months after we split up he father died suddenly, as her mother and her have little of a relationship, she has no family to support her. She developed severe depression and became suicidal, I couldn't cope with this and cut off all contact.

I know that over the apst few months she has been receiving treatment and is feeling a lot better and moving on in her life. I too have just started dealing with facing up to the hard cultural and religious decisions I had to make about our relationship and my future.

She has contacted me asking for closure on the situation, I did just abandon her, the last conversation we had I said I wished to fix our friendship but then just couldn't face it and walked away. I know this has distressed her significantly, but I don't know what to do. Do I meet with her? Do I reply?

please help, I know this greatly distressed her, but it was hard for me to go too and I don;t know if I can go back. She has asked that I just explain the reasons for going so she can learn from them, and help with her recovery.
 
Maybe you regret abandoning her because you walked away from something that you left open. Don't cling to false hope, but there might be the possibility that both of you want more. Do the two of you still have feelings for one another? You split up because of your family's disapproval? She IS receiving treatment and getting better. Are you willing to suggest starting over?

If you're set in your decision to keep the relationship ended, do you still want to maintain a friendship with her? Let her know this. If you can't, discuss it with her in a relaxed setting. She sounds confused about your actions and it would be in both your interests to finally clear the air- explain to her how you came to your decision and why it would benefit her.

You want to fix the friendship? Be courageous and face the reasons why you can't talk to her. Yes, set up a meeting with her. Reply to her. She may have decided to give up on the friendship too, though. If she doesn't wish to meet or speak with you, all hope of a successful friendship may be gone; you should keep going on in your life and allow her to live her's.
Good luck.
 
You really should see her, even to just explain the situation from your side and then when you've finished the conversation, if you still can't handle it explain that to her and leave things in a positive way. She has the right to know what happened, otherwise it would most likely bother her for a very long time, thinking she may have done something wrong, when in reality, she hasn't. You just couldn't handle her mental illness at the time, which is understandable. All the best!
 
Back
Top