Last Sunday, I dug a hole in my back garden in order to plant my new fern. However, upon going to fetch the fern, I realised that in my hurry I had forgotten to purchase one at all. I decided not to worry and so went to bed.
The next morning, I awoke to the sound of shuffling noises. I went out into the garden to find a wizened old man sitting in the hole I had previously dug. He appeared to be counting and naming wasps in the garden. I went back into my house as I didn't really know how to approach this old man. He could be armed, or mentally unstable.
I should have said something, as he soon found a water supply, and now washes regularly in the hole he has taken to be his home. In fact I think he is rinsing off for a final lather as I speak.
At night he sleeps peacefully, but this is just a mask of his usual behaviour. When approached he snarls and screeches wildly, and throws stones at passers-by. The matter is getting out of hand, as he has begun to eat away at the edges of the hole, and it is slowly consuming the backing of my garden. He now has enough room to house his newly purchased snooker table.
I tried to bribe him to leave, but he ate the money and screeched at me. He also doesn't flush when he uses my toilet, and that's just common courtesy. How should I deal with the hole? And the old man too? Please help me, he is becoming more comfortable, and last night I caught him carrying a child under his arm back to the hole to play snooker with him. Please help.
The next morning, I awoke to the sound of shuffling noises. I went out into the garden to find a wizened old man sitting in the hole I had previously dug. He appeared to be counting and naming wasps in the garden. I went back into my house as I didn't really know how to approach this old man. He could be armed, or mentally unstable.
I should have said something, as he soon found a water supply, and now washes regularly in the hole he has taken to be his home. In fact I think he is rinsing off for a final lather as I speak.
At night he sleeps peacefully, but this is just a mask of his usual behaviour. When approached he snarls and screeches wildly, and throws stones at passers-by. The matter is getting out of hand, as he has begun to eat away at the edges of the hole, and it is slowly consuming the backing of my garden. He now has enough room to house his newly purchased snooker table.
I tried to bribe him to leave, but he ate the money and screeched at me. He also doesn't flush when he uses my toilet, and that's just common courtesy. How should I deal with the hole? And the old man too? Please help me, he is becoming more comfortable, and last night I caught him carrying a child under his arm back to the hole to play snooker with him. Please help.