What is the funniest joke you know?

a panda bear walks into a restaurant, orders his food, eats his food, shoots the waiter, and leaves the restaurant. when the owner of the restaurant asks him why he shot the waiter, the panda bear says look up panda bear in the dictionary. the owner looks it up and it says panda bear : eats shoots and leaves.

:D
 
A priest was walking down the sidewalk and saw a few boys surrounding a small dog. He thought that they were hurting the dog. So he went to go investigate. The priest asked the boys what they were doing. The boys said " This dog has been wandering around the neighborhood. We want him but we can't all have him. So we decided whoever tells the biggest lie, gets to take the dog home. " The priest said " What! You boys should never tell lies! " He started with a big lecture and ended it with saying " Why I have never told one single lie in my life " The boys lowered there heads with a sad face. Then one of the boys said " Alright, you can take the dog home. "
 
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