What Is The Funniest Joke Ever?

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iSpaz

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I'm looking for another great joke to tell at a New Years party. Tell me the funniest one you've ever heard. I don't care if it's clean or absolutely filthy, just make it FUNNY.
I'm not "lame"
I just feel like finding a new joke to tell :3
 
Two blondes had gone to the mall to go shopping. After a long day of trying on, picking out, and spending money, they decided to leave. The blonde who was driving realized she locked her keys in the car. So she got on her hands and knees and was trying to break into her own car. Her impatient friend says, "Hurry up, it looks like it's about to rain and the top's down!"
 
At an art exhibition two women were staring at a painting entitled, "Home for Lunch".

The painting was of three very naked, and very black men, sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis. The two women were standing there, staring at the picture, scratching their heads and trying to figure this out. The artist walked by and noticed the women's confusion. "Can I help you with this painting?" he asked.

"Well, yes" said the one woman. "We were curious about the picture of the black men on the bench. Why does the man in the middle have a pink penis?"

"Oh," said the artist. "I'm afraid you've misunderstood the painting. The three men are not African-Americans, they're coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went "Home for Lunch."
 
A vicar books into a hotel and says to the hotel clerk
"i hope the porn channel is disabled"
she says "no sir, its just regular porn, you sick bastard"

and another
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at two in the morning!?
The wife picked up the phone and listened for a moment, then said, " How should I know,that's 200 miles from here" and hung up.
The husband said " Who was that"? The wife replied " I don't know: some woman asking if the coast was clear"!
 
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