what is the best joke you have heard lately?

  • Thread starter Thread starter agnes r
  • Start date Start date
A blonde ran into a coffee shop carrying a thermos
"is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee ?" she asked the assistant
"looks ok to me " the assistant answered
"good " said the blonde " give me two black two decaff and two milky"
 
A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mum...
the manager told her it would cost £300 ,she screeched i haven't got that kind of money ,but i would do anything to get a message to mum ,
The manager arched his eyebrows ANYTHING he said ...
yes yes said the blonde.....well follow me into the other room ...so she did ...Close the door , now get down on your knees..so she did....
NOW take my zipper down ..so she did ...Now go ahead take it out,she reached in and grabbed it with both hands ....
the man closed his eyes and whispered go ahead ..
the blonde brought her mouth closer to her lips and tentatively said









hello mum can you hear me ........







it made me laugh hope it does you ....
 
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk228/Jeanette3940/eyes.gif

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.
"Billy".
"And what is your question, Billy?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
And
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got! more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
And Fifth, what happened to Billy?"
 
i asked someone if they were homophobic and they said,'no i'm not afraid of my house!'
 
if barbie is so popular why do we have to buy her friends?

how do we tell if a woman s about to say something smart
when she starts a sentence with 'a man once told me'

religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend
 
ok
here are a few that made me chuckle
they're a little rude though..

there were 7 dwarfs in a shower feeling happy.
happy left, so they started feeling grumpy.

***

a girl comes home from cheerleading practice. She is still wearing her cheerleading outfit and has a £5 note in her hand.
Her mother asks " where'd you get the money from?"
girl -"the man across the asked me if i could do a cartwheel. He told me he'd go climb in the tree above and watch me. He said if i did it, he would give me £5."
mother- "you silly girl! he only did it cause he wanted to see your knickers!! Dont do it again!"
The next day the girl comes back from cheereading practice wearing her uniform. This time she has a £10 note. Her mother asks her where she got it from and she says the neighbour promised to give her £10 this time if she did the same thing.
mother -"you stupid girl! i thought i told you not to do that! he only wants to see your knickers!"
girl -"yeah but mum the jokes on him. I didnt wear any!!"
=D

***
 
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