Hey,
I've read over your questions over the last few days and I really think you need to get help. As a number of people have picked up it sounds like you have schizophrenia and really should get it checked out by the doctor. You wont be put into a mental hospital, but you may be given medication and therapy to help you deal with your problems. I can understand you're feelings that the world is a horrible place to live and everyone feels that from time to time. People that are down like us may feel it more often but if we stick in there we can get through it. You have so much to live for. You have the chance to be with the person you want to be with, you have the chance to live a happy life. Get help, stick in there and you'll be fine. Life is worth living- you only get one chance at it.
