What is a really funny joke?

J

Justin Case

New member
whats a reallyy funny joke thats sorta long?? heres mine:

There were 3 people on a plane. One was eating a lemon, and when he finished it, he threw the skin out the window. One was eating an orange and when he was finished, he threw the orange skin out the window. The other one has a grenade, and he pulled out the trigger and threw it out the window. The plane landed and the the three people started walking when they came across a little girl who was crying.
"Why are you crying?" they asked.
"A lemon skin came out of the sky and killed my new kitten!" she cried. The three people looked at each other and said, "Oh, ok" before they continued walking. They then came across a little boy who was crying. Once again, they asked, "Why are you crying?".
"An orange skin came out of the sky and killed my new puppy!" he cried. The three people looked at each other once again and said, "Oh, ok" before they continued walking. They then came across a girl who was laughing.
"What's so funny?" they asked. The girl said: "I farted and the building behind me exploded!"

hahaha lmao :)
 
once there was a little girl and it was her birthday, her parents told her she could have what ever she wanted.

so she said "i want to have a shower with mummy" so she had a shower with her mum.

"mummy mummy" she cried "what's that?"

"oh darling thats just a bush" her mum replied

"oh" she said "then what are those?"

"there just my flash light's" she said

after their shower she said "i want to have a shower with daddy"

so she had a shower with her dad

"daddy daddy" she cried "what is that?"

"oh" started her dad "that's just a snake"

"oh, ok" she replied
-------------------------------------------- (2 alternative endings)

1. that night her mother went out so she told her dad she wanted to sleep in his bed.

"well it is your birthday, i guess so" he said

in the morning the father woke up and there was blood all over the sheats.

"what happened?" he asked her daughter

"your snake squirted me so i bit him"

---------------------------------------------

2. that night the little girl told her parents she wanted to sleep in there bed.

before long she woke up and said "mummy mummy get your flash light's theres a snake in the bush!"
 
Four friends, old college buddies who hadn't seen
each other in over 30 years, reunited at a party. After
several drinks, one of the four men had to use the rest
room. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He
started working at a successful company at the bottom
of the barrel. He studied Advanced Economics and Business
Administration, and soon began to climb the corporate
ladder ...and now he's the president of the company. He
became so stinkin' rich that he actually gave his best friend
a top of the line Mercedes 700-Class for his birthday!"
The second guy said, "Man, that's terrific! My son is
also my pride and joy! He started working for a big airline,
and then went to flight training school to become a pilot.
Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he
owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave
his best friend a brand new Lear jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's certainly something,
but my son studied in the best universities and eventually
became an top-of-the-line construction engineer. Then he
started his own HUGE construction company and is now a
multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and
expensive to his best friend for his birthday: He gave him
a 30,000 square foot mansion!!"
The three friends were still congratulating each other
as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked:
"...So what are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride
we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?"
The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and moved to San Francisco and makes a living dancing as a male stripper at a
big North Beach nightclub."
The three friends gasped and said: "What a shame... what a MAJOR disappointment!! We're so sorry. You must be very
ashamed of his failures!!"
The fourth man replied: "...No, I'm not ashamed at all. He's
my son and I love him. And he really hasn't done all that badly
either. .....His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a
beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new Lear jet
and a top of the line Mercedes from his three gay boyfriends."
 
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