First, he'd pick on you for saying you had the flu, when really it was some other sort of stomach virus.
Then, he'd make you miserable by telling you some strange thing like in season one when he told the mother that didn't vaccinate her infant that baby coffins were a big seller, and then said the baby had a cold.
After that when your thoroughly worried he'd get a differential diagnoses, put you through painful tests, give you dangerous meds, and cure you.
Then he'd take several vicodin and go to sleep.
