What do you think of this sonnet?

A

Andy

New member
When caught between a light I've never seen,
And darkness I will never truly know,
I think of all the things I could have been,
And suddenly my heart is filled with woe.
Without a doubt I tend to think with haste,
Of life and death, but not in present tense,
Yet without time our lives are just a waste,
And so I wonder if I came from "whence."*
As light in other mediums is bent,
So is the time that binds us to this life,
And now I see, as I am caught in strife,
This is the only valid precedent.
So I implore you please see through the light,
For none but you can truly know what's right.

*refers to Frankenstein's ruminations upon the origin of life

What do you think of this sonnet? Thank you for reading!
 
Im going to be 100% honest here man, I like it alot, I like where you're going, but I think it lacks the feeling and clarity you are going for. It has a strong point lying within but you haven't yet broken that medium and really impacted the audience. In it lies a powerful message, and you are very close to really causing the reader to think about and focus on this message, but you're not yet there. Just work on the wording man and it will be golden.
 
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