What do you think of this poem?

E

Ella (:

New member
A reminder of you

The fairytale painted days of my past,
Are left in darkness alone in the dust,
And now this shadow which appeared so fast,
Has drawn a frown as if a must,
I’m young and helpless, what do I know?
I know I have no one to watch as I fall,
And the emotions I fear are left on show,
To be judged and admired by the greatest of all.
It’s my fault, it’s your fault and it’s their fault too,
But most of all, It’s the fault of the obsession,
As the love between us has failed and is through,
To leave only tears, hate and depression,
The overwhelming tears have covered my smile,
But I wear this mask to hide what’s really true,
And I’ll keep it on for at least a while,
To hide from them, myself and you,
The songs are reminders of what we once shared,
Along with the messages stored in my head,
You were so perfect, no one compared,
But that life is gone, disappeared and dead.
 
Wonderful imagery. The rhythmic device used is not consistent to wards the top in relation to the bottom part of the poem. Other then the "flow issue", very good poem. I understand that it may be difficult to draw out a poem unless "the mood" hits, so I can understand from the point of view it was written. All in all, very good, just the flow threw me off a bit.
 
Woah, this poem is amazing!
Are you a poet? :O
Seriously. I could never ever make something so powerful like that!

You have a real talent! Keep doing what your doing :)
xx
 
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