what do you think of this poem?

A

abed

New member
i remember back then when life was easy
living smooth lifes nothing eva was queasy
our lifes where so cheasy that we cant comprehend
we know that today is the beginig of the end
everything was so nice and every thing was good..
but whats good dont ever last for good
and thats why life aint fair and justice is " just is"
a word.. but words aint never been sharp as swords..
its action time we cant just hide behind our speeches..
thinking of avoiding the problems with out thank you and pleases..
we lost peaces of life puzzle thats why life never complete.
we need to be in the front row instead of the back seat..
untill the missing peaces.. compain with mercy of jusus.
and life goes back to statist.. thats we get tid of our apices
and be all for one.. and one for all...
and as long were are on the top of the game its way easier to fall...
 
I like it.

Tips:

-add some metaphores and similes (they make the poem more appealing to your audience)
-some of your rhymes don't rhyme so well, you may wish to revise them
-check your spelling

otherwise it's great.
 
I like it.

Tips:

-add some metaphores and similes (they make the poem more appealing to your audience)
-some of your rhymes don't rhyme so well, you may wish to revise them
-check your spelling

otherwise it's great.
 
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