EtherealJanne
New member
It's only a portion of an essay, but could you please comment on it? I'm planning to maybe use it as a college essay. thanks!
My eyes followed the upward tilt of the tour guide’s arm as he pointed to its distant peak. A frisson of exhilaration washed over me as I stared at the dizzying incline of the rustic structure. I felt a cool breeze brush my arms as a trail of goose-bumps erupted along its wake. My mind vaguely registered the rumble of thunder rolling in the distance and the pungent whiff of perspiration wafting through the muggy air. My eyes scrutinized the steep steps of the pyramid in slow motion as the bitter taste of fear filled my mouth. All senses are alert. I remained motionless for a long time.
Some students vaulted up the steps with remarkable abandon, unfazed by the imposing height of the ancient structure. Other students exercised more caution, taking comfort in the company of a friend as they crawled to the peak one painstaking step at a time. In the end, I was somewhere in the middle. I did not dare challenge the power of gravity with the same recklessness, nor did I let the fear of tumbling down the steps slow me down.
Taking a deep breath, I steeled my resolve and took my first step, and another, then another. With each small step, I kept my head down, focusing on the mosaic of irregular shapes, chipped borders, and accumulated grime of the uneven stairway. Unaware of the sudden shift of steps in the pyramid’s design, I felt a surge of momentary panic midway through the climb when I nearly planted my foot in a gaping hole of emptiness, thinking it was the next step. The fear crept back up my throat and I fought the overwhelming urge to climb back down. I could not admit defeat then, not when I was so close to my destination. Instead, I swallowed my fear and took another deep breath as I chanted to myself, “I can do this.” Despite the slight trembling of my limbs, I concentrated on the task at hand, one step at a time.
When I finally reached the top, I managed to keep myself from collapsing in exhaustion, wiping off the trails of sweat that zigzagged down my face. All symptoms of fatigue instantly evaporated when I turned and beheld the stunning view of the ancient ruins. The late morning light filtered through the dense canopy of trees, illuminating the emerald necklace of foliage that encircled the ancient city. Chirping birds soared up and out, twisting through the intricate maze of leafy branches. From the top, the sheer beauty of the ancient city and its magnificent structures left me breathless. Although I arrived at the pinnacle disheveled and wrought with terror, the sense of accomplishment and pride I felt from surviving the daunting ascent was well worth the rough climb. Now, the only problem was going back down…
My eyes followed the upward tilt of the tour guide’s arm as he pointed to its distant peak. A frisson of exhilaration washed over me as I stared at the dizzying incline of the rustic structure. I felt a cool breeze brush my arms as a trail of goose-bumps erupted along its wake. My mind vaguely registered the rumble of thunder rolling in the distance and the pungent whiff of perspiration wafting through the muggy air. My eyes scrutinized the steep steps of the pyramid in slow motion as the bitter taste of fear filled my mouth. All senses are alert. I remained motionless for a long time.
Some students vaulted up the steps with remarkable abandon, unfazed by the imposing height of the ancient structure. Other students exercised more caution, taking comfort in the company of a friend as they crawled to the peak one painstaking step at a time. In the end, I was somewhere in the middle. I did not dare challenge the power of gravity with the same recklessness, nor did I let the fear of tumbling down the steps slow me down.
Taking a deep breath, I steeled my resolve and took my first step, and another, then another. With each small step, I kept my head down, focusing on the mosaic of irregular shapes, chipped borders, and accumulated grime of the uneven stairway. Unaware of the sudden shift of steps in the pyramid’s design, I felt a surge of momentary panic midway through the climb when I nearly planted my foot in a gaping hole of emptiness, thinking it was the next step. The fear crept back up my throat and I fought the overwhelming urge to climb back down. I could not admit defeat then, not when I was so close to my destination. Instead, I swallowed my fear and took another deep breath as I chanted to myself, “I can do this.” Despite the slight trembling of my limbs, I concentrated on the task at hand, one step at a time.
When I finally reached the top, I managed to keep myself from collapsing in exhaustion, wiping off the trails of sweat that zigzagged down my face. All symptoms of fatigue instantly evaporated when I turned and beheld the stunning view of the ancient ruins. The late morning light filtered through the dense canopy of trees, illuminating the emerald necklace of foliage that encircled the ancient city. Chirping birds soared up and out, twisting through the intricate maze of leafy branches. From the top, the sheer beauty of the ancient city and its magnificent structures left me breathless. Although I arrived at the pinnacle disheveled and wrought with terror, the sense of accomplishment and pride I felt from surviving the daunting ascent was well worth the rough climb. Now, the only problem was going back down…