What do you think of our relationship? is this weird?

  • Thread starter Thread starter megannjason305
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megannjason305

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I am not sure if I should take this question seriously or not. But if it is true, then I would have to say that is not a healthy relationship. It's kinda creepy if you ask me.
 
i'm dating a guy almost 30 years older than me and im so attracted to him. it has nothing to do with any "daddy issues" although i did have a crush on my dad when i was little... i never acted on it though.... it was just a fantasy. i love my bf. he makes me feel so safe and warm and protected and loved. its a nice feeling. he lets me cuddle up on his lap and go to sleep. he calls me his princess and his kitten.. he does all these silly things to make me laugh. he takes care of me.. a few days ago we were at the park feeding the ducks and he piggybacked me on the way home. it reminded me of when i was a kid and carefree.... our relationship is more like a father/daughter than a bf/gf but it does have romantic elements to it too.. we kiss and make out and do other things too. its not perverted. i truly feel so happy and safe when im with him. he lets me be the real me... he doesn't think its weird that a 22 yr old woman likes to watch cartoons, color in, go to the toy store, play video games, actually he does all these things with me. we've been together for 2 years and i know if he asked me to marry him... i would.... on the outside to the real world.. we're just a normal couple.. when its just us.. the father/daugther dynamic is there.... do you think this is bad for me? im not maturing as a person. i dont have a college degree, i dont know how to drive.... oh.. and i have borderline personality disorder.
 
" he makes me feel so safe and warm and protected and loved."
" i truly feel so happy and safe when im with him "
Isn't that what is important? Don't worry about thus who find it creepy or weird! We are all individuals and, something different what makes us tick! I'm sure when you want to develop your self he will be all the way behind you and will support you! It is very difficult to find happiness, you two did find it so don't throw it away because it isn't popular with the public!
Good Luck! and enjoy the ride!
 
Nothing wrong with loving an older man but get a life too. Learn to drive, go to college, etc. If he is too controlling and will not allow it , drop him like a hot potato. If he is behind you getting a live, then enjoy yours with him.
 
The fantasies and attraction you had for your dad as a child is what we call in psychology the Electra complex. Its actually a sign and stage of a normal healthy developing child. Boys feel the same with their mothers. I'd say that this was okay and infact, its not illegal or anything, but the fact that you even posed this question asking if it was "weird" tells me you find it to be something out of the ordinary as well. You say this is not a "daddy issue", but if you want to find out if this is actually a problem and not something just "weird" you need to ask youself a few questions. Were you abused physically, mentally, sexually as a child? Was your father absent, somewhat unloving, uncaring, or cold towards you?
Given your mental status, I do think this is something that requires attention. Even if this is someone you want to be with, making sure its right is first getting yourself checked to make sure this is not something thats going to cause you problems in the long run. Along other stages of development you seemed to have stopped at one point and remained in your child like stage in that your behavior with this man does really reflect a normal father/daughter relationship. At this point in time you should have gained some independence. Lack of experience to grow and mature as a person can forever keep you from learning if you dont take the steps necessary. You can function and go to college, drive etc. as any other person, but I think as long as you keep yourself at this point those things can be impossible. Please see a counselour
 
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