Keki Colbert
New member
What do you think of my writing? Be judgemental and harsh, because I know that I need a lot of pointers.
"One wrong move, you die," he said, staring at me intently.
"Just hand me the sword," I commanded.
He frowned. "Have you ever held a sword?" he asked, keeping the weapon out of my reaching distance.
"No need," I muttered. I stepped forward before Frit could respond and grabbed the sword's handle.
He sighed. "I don't trust you with sharp objects," he admitted.
I stuck the sword in the ground and leaned on it. "Afraid I'll kill you?"
"Something along those lines…" He eyed the sword warily.*"You should never treat a weapon that way," he continued.
"Then show me how to use it!" He hadn't shown me anything about using the blade.
"I've never taught a farmer to fight," he muttered, but shut up when when he looked at the sword in my hand and remembered I was dangerous when armed.
"I'm*gonna*ignore*that,"*I*said*defiantly. "Know what? No, I'm not. Farmer or not, you need me! So show me how to use a sword or I'll figure it out myself. Which do you think is more productive?" I actually already knew. I had practiced with my brothers growing up. Being the youngest and the only girl, I was easy to pick on and I had always been the one my brothers chose when they needed someone to practice swordplay with. Over the years I had been able to beat some of my brothers closer to my age.*
Frit grinned mischeviously. I recognized that look from my brothers and I knew he was going to try to catch me off gaurd. "Okay," he said slowly. "Hold it like this." He held it and I pretended to try to figure it out. When I had a grip on it he said, "Your opponent will always try to catch you off gaurd..."*
He lurched forward and attempted a blow that would have dazed me but wouldn't have caused injury. I was familier with this and stopped it effortlessly. I put a little more power into my thrust than neccesary and sent Frit sprawling to the ground. I grinned. "Nevermind. I've got it down."
"One wrong move, you die," he said, staring at me intently.
"Just hand me the sword," I commanded.
He frowned. "Have you ever held a sword?" he asked, keeping the weapon out of my reaching distance.
"No need," I muttered. I stepped forward before Frit could respond and grabbed the sword's handle.
He sighed. "I don't trust you with sharp objects," he admitted.
I stuck the sword in the ground and leaned on it. "Afraid I'll kill you?"
"Something along those lines…" He eyed the sword warily.*"You should never treat a weapon that way," he continued.
"Then show me how to use it!" He hadn't shown me anything about using the blade.
"I've never taught a farmer to fight," he muttered, but shut up when when he looked at the sword in my hand and remembered I was dangerous when armed.
"I'm*gonna*ignore*that,"*I*said*defiantly. "Know what? No, I'm not. Farmer or not, you need me! So show me how to use a sword or I'll figure it out myself. Which do you think is more productive?" I actually already knew. I had practiced with my brothers growing up. Being the youngest and the only girl, I was easy to pick on and I had always been the one my brothers chose when they needed someone to practice swordplay with. Over the years I had been able to beat some of my brothers closer to my age.*
Frit grinned mischeviously. I recognized that look from my brothers and I knew he was going to try to catch me off gaurd. "Okay," he said slowly. "Hold it like this." He held it and I pretended to try to figure it out. When I had a grip on it he said, "Your opponent will always try to catch you off gaurd..."*
He lurched forward and attempted a blow that would have dazed me but wouldn't have caused injury. I was familier with this and stopped it effortlessly. I put a little more power into my thrust than neccesary and sent Frit sprawling to the ground. I grinned. "Nevermind. I've got it down."