I am 13 and I want to know if i am accually good at writing. My friends have told me I am, but their my friends
. Here are two small parts of the book I'm writing(yes they are from the same book) and can you please tell me what you think truthfully? They arent the best parts ever but they are short. Thanks!
Part one:
Officer Tom asked question after question. It seemed to be an eternity before he paused and stood up, nodding his head toward Mr. White.
“Just hang in there, kid. It’ll be all right.” Officer Tom rested his large hand on my shoulder for a few short seconds then walked towards my Dad’s room, perhaps looking for some sort of clues.
Mr. White staggered towards his wife and whispered, “Margaret, I think it’s time for us to leave Kristen to Officer Tom.”
“No, Patrick, can’t you see that Kristen needs someone right now! I can’t leave her like this! I just can’t!” Mrs. White’s brown eyes were now overflowing with filmy tears. They dripped slowly down her face and landed on her vivid, yellow raincoat.
“Margaret, what she needs right now is to be alone. I know how she feels more than you do. You have to trust me. She will be better off if we leave her.”
Sobbing, Mrs. White finally agreed. She gently kissed the top of my head and stuttered towards to door with her head rested on her husband’s shoulder.
I curled my knees towards my chest. I buried my tear-drowned eyes into my knees, as if the world had ended right then. Truly, the world, my world, had ended minutes ago.
Icy tears uncontrollably flowed down my cheeks in glassy droplets, leaving faint marks. The short breaths of air that heaved through my body was the only thing that kept me conscious. My head pounded and twirled, flooded with questions. Questions nobody could answer.
How could this be happening? It was too surreal to be true.
Dad would never do something as ludicrous as taking his own life, would he? He couldn’t just leave me by myself.
But he did. It was too unreal, but he did. I couldn’t survive knowing I would never see him again. It felt as if this was all a horrible nightmare that I would wake up from any second. It was a fact I couldn’t face, no matter how much I tried. The words echoed in my head even though I strived not to believe them; even though the agonizing truth of it poisoned my body.
My father was dead, my father was dead.
Part 2:
I was sitting on the dock of Lake Arrowhead staring out into the lake as bright, afternoon sun warmed my skin. I sat in the very spot Dad and I used to fish together, many years ago. Today was one of the days when the lake looked as if it were taken out of a fairy tale book. Rays of sunlight dappled the crystalline water, looking as if the lake’s floor was encrusted with tiny gems. Light, ivory clouds were scattered in puffs all over the sky. All of the trees surrounding the dock were bathed in bright hues of green as the sunlight playfully bounced off of their leaves.
Sitting silently, I watched the water of the lake ripple as a slight breeze whistled through it. The tops of my toes hung into the brisk water, numbed by an oddly refreshing chill. A content smile painted my lips. There was no where in the world I wanted to be more than here at Lake Arrowhead.
Thanks a ton!
