I am going to draw and write a story but I wanted to know if someones opinion outside of my life.
It's a vampire story about a young man (Calling him Steve for now) who has just lost the girl who he had confessed to, and she confessed back, in a brutally violent murder that is still unsolved. (It was a month before and there hasn't been any leads at all about how she died and who killed her, but they do know it was not blood lose or a wound because most of her blood was still in her body and she only had a small wound on her shoulder.) His friend tries to comfort him as much as he can, but his friend, (I'll call him Joe for now), has been keeping a secret from him. Joe is a vampire hunter in training, and makes a secret vow to find out who killed his friends love and kill them in the most slow and painful way he can imagine, even risking his career as a vampire hunter on it if the perpetrator turns out to be human, (It is forbidden by law to kill other human beings, only wiping their memories and assimilating them back into society.)
They are both talking about the girl Steve had confessed to, and if he was still going to attend university because he had not been at it for a whole month and he was lagging behind everyone else. No one really wanted to confront Steve about it because they all knew the girl and that Steve and her were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend soon, it shocked a lot of people.
Joe argues that Steve shouldn't throw his life away because of what happened, saying the girl wouldn't want him to, because she had been nagging Steve to attend classes more often when she was still alive because he was being a slacker. Suddenly, Joe gets a strange vibe out of nowhere, and turns to see a beautiful woman wearing a long dress standing a few feet away from them, Joe visibly notices blood stains on her lips and dress, he stays where he stands, thinking of a distraction so he can knock out Steve so he won't see Joe using his vampire hunter powers. (Mildly stronger than the average person, faster and have slightly better reflexes that help them combat new born vampires who are disorientated at best and can't fight very well, older vampires are taken down in a team effort, sometimes 30 hunters at a time, depending on the power of the vampire.) Steve notices that Joe looks anxious and turns to see the woman and wonders what is wrong with her, he takes a step towards her because he see's her bleeding and wants to help her, Joe was about to knock him out when the vampire whispers something inaudible at Joe and his muscles freeze and clamp up, making it extremely difficult to move, Joe knows that this is a very bad sign that she might be a very old vampire, but he has his doubts about it because he noticed a wound on her neck, telling him that she might very well be a new born but new born's don't have this sort of power for a long time. The vampire walks several steps forward and begins to confess that she was the one that murdered the girl and was responsible for death of the girl who was still missing and was linked to the murdered girl. Steve is absolutely shocked and unnerved that this woman would say this, feeling distraught because he thinks she's playing games with him to make him angry. He yells at her asking her why she supposedly did this, she replies that she didn't want the girl to suffer the same fate she has now, Steve doesn't understand but Joe easily does because he knows she's a vampire. The woman throws a knife at Steve's feet and he jumps back, seeing it as an attack. The woman reassures him that she wishes not to harm him, and asks him straight out to kill her so she can go to Hades/Hell, where she deserves to suffer for eternity.
Okay that's what I got so far, um I don't think it's very good because it's kind of a stereotypical story cause it has vampires and they are beautiful, but in my story they are very sinister in nature. This is not a romantic story, in no way, shape or form. The main villain does love the woman I described, (She's one of his children) but also hates her for a reason I will not say because the back story for their love hate relationship is very long, even longer than this whole thing!
It's a vampire story about a young man (Calling him Steve for now) who has just lost the girl who he had confessed to, and she confessed back, in a brutally violent murder that is still unsolved. (It was a month before and there hasn't been any leads at all about how she died and who killed her, but they do know it was not blood lose or a wound because most of her blood was still in her body and she only had a small wound on her shoulder.) His friend tries to comfort him as much as he can, but his friend, (I'll call him Joe for now), has been keeping a secret from him. Joe is a vampire hunter in training, and makes a secret vow to find out who killed his friends love and kill them in the most slow and painful way he can imagine, even risking his career as a vampire hunter on it if the perpetrator turns out to be human, (It is forbidden by law to kill other human beings, only wiping their memories and assimilating them back into society.)
They are both talking about the girl Steve had confessed to, and if he was still going to attend university because he had not been at it for a whole month and he was lagging behind everyone else. No one really wanted to confront Steve about it because they all knew the girl and that Steve and her were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend soon, it shocked a lot of people.
Joe argues that Steve shouldn't throw his life away because of what happened, saying the girl wouldn't want him to, because she had been nagging Steve to attend classes more often when she was still alive because he was being a slacker. Suddenly, Joe gets a strange vibe out of nowhere, and turns to see a beautiful woman wearing a long dress standing a few feet away from them, Joe visibly notices blood stains on her lips and dress, he stays where he stands, thinking of a distraction so he can knock out Steve so he won't see Joe using his vampire hunter powers. (Mildly stronger than the average person, faster and have slightly better reflexes that help them combat new born vampires who are disorientated at best and can't fight very well, older vampires are taken down in a team effort, sometimes 30 hunters at a time, depending on the power of the vampire.) Steve notices that Joe looks anxious and turns to see the woman and wonders what is wrong with her, he takes a step towards her because he see's her bleeding and wants to help her, Joe was about to knock him out when the vampire whispers something inaudible at Joe and his muscles freeze and clamp up, making it extremely difficult to move, Joe knows that this is a very bad sign that she might be a very old vampire, but he has his doubts about it because he noticed a wound on her neck, telling him that she might very well be a new born but new born's don't have this sort of power for a long time. The vampire walks several steps forward and begins to confess that she was the one that murdered the girl and was responsible for death of the girl who was still missing and was linked to the murdered girl. Steve is absolutely shocked and unnerved that this woman would say this, feeling distraught because he thinks she's playing games with him to make him angry. He yells at her asking her why she supposedly did this, she replies that she didn't want the girl to suffer the same fate she has now, Steve doesn't understand but Joe easily does because he knows she's a vampire. The woman throws a knife at Steve's feet and he jumps back, seeing it as an attack. The woman reassures him that she wishes not to harm him, and asks him straight out to kill her so she can go to Hades/Hell, where she deserves to suffer for eternity.
Okay that's what I got so far, um I don't think it's very good because it's kind of a stereotypical story cause it has vampires and they are beautiful, but in my story they are very sinister in nature. This is not a romantic story, in no way, shape or form. The main villain does love the woman I described, (She's one of his children) but also hates her for a reason I will not say because the back story for their love hate relationship is very long, even longer than this whole thing!