sonia mahmood
New member
Hi, I just wrote a story but I improved it thanks to the comments. Please read and tell me how it turned out. I'm 9 years old. 
Chapter 1 the Fishy Fair
Ron woke with a start. The pale sunlight came out of the window on his face. He wondered if Cayle was awake too.
"Hey, Cayle,"
He said, peering down the bunk bed. But surprisingly, Cayle, his little sister wasn't there. He looked at the clock, then at the calendar.
It was Sunday, and the time was 8:16 am.
That's funny. Ron thought. Cayle never gets up this early on weekends.
Ron put on his slippers and dashed downstairs. "Mum! Where's Cayle and Dad?"
Mum wasn't there either.
He searched the whole house but couldn't find anyone, not even their cat, Mr. Chewy. He finally dashed to the yard to see if maybe Dad's car was there, so he could tell if they went outside or not. But Dad's car was there. Suddenly, he heard a voice. "Yippee!!! Yippee!!!"
Cayle! It was Cayle's voice!
He ran to where the sound was coming from. The sight made him gasp. Mum, Dad, Cayle, Mr. Chewy and a couple of other neighbors, including Miss Stacy and Old Mr. Lacey were all standing on the roadside!
They were all properly dressed.
Only he was in his pyjamas. Mum seemed to notice him.
"Oh, Ron, you're awake? I've been trying to wake you up all morning. You wouldn't budge!"
Ron sighed. "Hey, Mum, why is everyone here?" he asked.
Mum gasped.
Then Cayle.
Then everyone else, and even Mr. Chewy opened his mouth.
"Did you forget?! Today is the day of the National Annual Fair! Everyone in town knows that the procession goes by at 8: 30!" Mr. Lacey commented. "Then why are you all standing here so early?" Ron asked."It's only about 8:18!"
"We didn't want to miss any part of it," squealed the Johnson twins.
"Yeah.....Speak when you're asked to, okay?"
The twins sulked.
"Son, go change into something else. There are some waffles in the refrigerator. Eat up quickly and join us." Dad said. Ron ran to the house. In about 15 minutes, he was back. "It's 8:27." he said after he looked at his watch. "The parade will come by any minute!" Daniel, Mr. Lacey's housekeeper said excitedly.
3 monotonous minutes passed.
(By the way, this isn't exactly a chapter, only the first few paragraphs of chapter 1)
Chapter 1 the Fishy Fair
Ron woke with a start. The pale sunlight came out of the window on his face. He wondered if Cayle was awake too.
"Hey, Cayle,"
He said, peering down the bunk bed. But surprisingly, Cayle, his little sister wasn't there. He looked at the clock, then at the calendar.
It was Sunday, and the time was 8:16 am.
That's funny. Ron thought. Cayle never gets up this early on weekends.
Ron put on his slippers and dashed downstairs. "Mum! Where's Cayle and Dad?"
Mum wasn't there either.
He searched the whole house but couldn't find anyone, not even their cat, Mr. Chewy. He finally dashed to the yard to see if maybe Dad's car was there, so he could tell if they went outside or not. But Dad's car was there. Suddenly, he heard a voice. "Yippee!!! Yippee!!!"
Cayle! It was Cayle's voice!
He ran to where the sound was coming from. The sight made him gasp. Mum, Dad, Cayle, Mr. Chewy and a couple of other neighbors, including Miss Stacy and Old Mr. Lacey were all standing on the roadside!
They were all properly dressed.
Only he was in his pyjamas. Mum seemed to notice him.
"Oh, Ron, you're awake? I've been trying to wake you up all morning. You wouldn't budge!"
Ron sighed. "Hey, Mum, why is everyone here?" he asked.
Mum gasped.
Then Cayle.
Then everyone else, and even Mr. Chewy opened his mouth.
"Did you forget?! Today is the day of the National Annual Fair! Everyone in town knows that the procession goes by at 8: 30!" Mr. Lacey commented. "Then why are you all standing here so early?" Ron asked."It's only about 8:18!"
"We didn't want to miss any part of it," squealed the Johnson twins.
"Yeah.....Speak when you're asked to, okay?"
The twins sulked.
"Son, go change into something else. There are some waffles in the refrigerator. Eat up quickly and join us." Dad said. Ron ran to the house. In about 15 minutes, he was back. "It's 8:27." he said after he looked at his watch. "The parade will come by any minute!" Daniel, Mr. Lacey's housekeeper said excitedly.
3 monotonous minutes passed.
(By the way, this isn't exactly a chapter, only the first few paragraphs of chapter 1)