i just started writing, and i can't tell if i like my poems or not. can you guys give me some feedback? itd be nice if i could have more feedback then, "thats cool!" or "this is terrible"
anyways, here's two poems i wrote
the smell of a freshly dead cigarette still lingered.
it reminded me of you.
the hardship, the joy, the pain.
all embodied in smell.
emotions rush, pass, and fade.
oh, how i’ve realized.
like a leech, you’ve feed,
& sucked out life until nothing was left.
a hollow shell.
an empty vastness of nothingness.
stillness.
an emptiness, juxtaposing life, like dancing smoke on a somber night.
oh, how i’ve realized.
as the vast sea of life continues to push onward,
with its rampant currents and persistent waves,
i realize.
the past is, and will always be, a part of me.
the present defines me,
and the future supersedes me.
change is more consistent than it seems,
continually shaping our stories
like an ambivalent potter with his clay.
one thing is true, however.
the past is present.
and as we grow together, i ask you one simple thing.
don’t forget to remember.
while seasons may change, and time remains,
you know that i’ll stay the same.
anyways, here's two poems i wrote
the smell of a freshly dead cigarette still lingered.
it reminded me of you.
the hardship, the joy, the pain.
all embodied in smell.
emotions rush, pass, and fade.
oh, how i’ve realized.
like a leech, you’ve feed,
& sucked out life until nothing was left.
a hollow shell.
an empty vastness of nothingness.
stillness.
an emptiness, juxtaposing life, like dancing smoke on a somber night.
oh, how i’ve realized.
as the vast sea of life continues to push onward,
with its rampant currents and persistent waves,
i realize.
the past is, and will always be, a part of me.
the present defines me,
and the future supersedes me.
change is more consistent than it seems,
continually shaping our stories
like an ambivalent potter with his clay.
one thing is true, however.
the past is present.
and as we grow together, i ask you one simple thing.
don’t forget to remember.
while seasons may change, and time remains,
you know that i’ll stay the same.