What do you think of my poem?

J

jenny

New member
There is a world
for dreams alone
a mist-woven country
of mysteries unknown
Here the purple lily flower
sings in the night
underneath a canopy
of silvery light
Here the lonely songbird
ends its roam
in the grassy pillow beds
it finds its home
Here the burning hot sun
never claimed its own
here the time stays unmoving
as granite hard stone

There is a world
where a dreamer rests
her noise weary head
in a cuckoo's nest

I haven't edited it yet, but what do you think?
 
it is good but with a little adjustment would sound better say it outloud and see it can go fluidli and that it makes sense still but with a little of mysteri like that people have to really hear it to get it
 
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