What do you think of my poem?

[rondo]

Still Cacophonous

i)

Then I lied
I spoke
I parted my lips

A mirage still motion

ii)

The only two people in the world

Wisps of hair flow wind tangles
In a misty world
Beneath stars

The last night on Earth

A revolution wobbles by
An axis tonight, the world
Tomorrow the terror, bright

The last breath

A flower core paints in an empty depth
Worked ecology so vast it spans the world
Riding the peacock feather reflections of an empire

The last kiss

Crystallined particles collapse in the wind
Infusing the world in a phase sapphire discharge
Refracting melodiously throughout the continuum

The Elysian sunrise splinters

A mid Decemberist light amongst the mists
Working an idea in the expending nova
Like a murder in the stars

iii)

The mirage of a nuclear winter

 

[Alice C]

It was amazing,Beautiful.
If I had a poetry job in mind for you,I would give you the number.
would you send me a copy of the poems?
I want to show my friends.
Please send it to me at '[email protected]'

 

[chillax, you'll live. . .]

~_~---------------------- cry cry

 

[Alisa J]

That was beautiful, it transported me. Wonderful imagery.
Thank you so much for posting that, really

 

[The Real Jared]

Beautiful. I think the "Elysian sunrise" seemed forced, almost like you really wanted to have a reference to Elysium, but that was my one and only complaint. You have a talent.

 

[The Real Jared]

Beautiful. I think the "Elysian sunrise" seemed forced, almost like you really wanted to have a reference to Elysium, but that was my one and only complaint. You have a talent.