What do you think of my poem?

rondo

New member
Maeve Like Heaven's Light

I blinked throughout the slow blinding night
My tears leering throughout the soft cold light
So the listening sleep, if it rips me out of my sight
Will intone the ringing futile plight
Will whisper vile my ears alight
Speaking the dim smoky treason
Flared throughout the empty tonight.

Maeve, my true love, did you make this end my love
Tender empty Maeve, my love
My meadow medley mead maker
Did to me in epic moonlight, did you true
Made me cry in the broken ruin hearted light
Did to me in haloed silver light, did you true
Made the lie burn so bright
For by it your eyes craved not I but my dear brother, why?

Not I ever having gotten by of every day
To you my virgin mother Mary Maeve
To love so true in every way
To love more true in every day
Without fire in of my every vein
Burning ever brightly by
In every play
In dream in day
My beautiful bride baby Maeve

To me you liar
My eyes did tear
For you, my one and only love so true
You Maeve, my myth, my lover blue
To me you were a liar true
Your black eyes, cold like the stars

You told me by us, we were broken forever
You told me by us, I was not your one true lover
You told me by us, you were who, who made me tear
You told me by us, we were done forever

Your black eyes, welling in every drop
Black eyes like diamonds in the lonely night
The stars, heaven's light and desire
Black eyes like winged angel's to heaven's flight
The Gods of lies, truths and terrors
Black eyes, like my bed of lies

I am immortal
You feint hearted widow maker!
 
Wow, I love this! I can tell you put work into this, which is such a relief after reading so many poems today on here that were obviously written in a few minutes. This was beautiful :D Excellent job!
 
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