What do you think of my poem?

[SHAKE IT!]

When I was a little girl my papa took me to the lake
I loved that lake
just like i like dead raccoons
yep those where the days
I didnt take showers for weeks
people would stare but it was ok because i would go cut myself
now im alone
in a box
and there is no lake
raccoons
or showers
im dying

 

[Zoey]

omg, wow i luv it, damn haha, wow speechless, its rlly good, a 9.3 outta 10

 

[Fatima_w]

Very Odd..It's more of a story then it is a poem.. You can turn it into a poem..You have to work a little bit mroe hard on it.. Like add more words... Have a begining middle and end
And the tempo of the poem is kind of not equal
like:
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