M
ms. mardehbum
Guest
Hi, i'm 15 and this is my second time writing any kind of poetry, so really, I'm not sure if the way i'm writing it is completely horrid or not. What do you think of it? Is there any way I could improve it?
It's called, "Jeans".
No, love, there is no oxygen on the moon
Take your jeans off
Feel obliged to use the last of the cash in your pocket
Unzipping this mask of burden is free
Use the hands chocking in those pockets
And attempt to rip your odious fads
Strum the last remains of the ominous threads
To elicit a new sense of awareness
Into that oxygen deprived wardrobe
Don't forget to scribble out the tiny hearts
That pen on your legs
No one will notice in this vast ocean
Do you prefer dark or faded this time?
Suffocating is wedged between both pairs
Now hold on to the leather seat tighter, my dear
It's not uncanny to wait with an extra pair
For this space shuttle is going to rush
Though the darkest area of space seems to be close
If not already here
It's not eerie that the sky is blue
However it is weird that jeans come in different hues
These blinding shades darken your declining sense
Leave this quarantine
And take your jeans off
It's called, "Jeans".
No, love, there is no oxygen on the moon
Take your jeans off
Feel obliged to use the last of the cash in your pocket
Unzipping this mask of burden is free
Use the hands chocking in those pockets
And attempt to rip your odious fads
Strum the last remains of the ominous threads
To elicit a new sense of awareness
Into that oxygen deprived wardrobe
Don't forget to scribble out the tiny hearts
That pen on your legs
No one will notice in this vast ocean
Do you prefer dark or faded this time?
Suffocating is wedged between both pairs
Now hold on to the leather seat tighter, my dear
It's not uncanny to wait with an extra pair
For this space shuttle is going to rush
Though the darkest area of space seems to be close
If not already here
It's not eerie that the sky is blue
However it is weird that jeans come in different hues
These blinding shades darken your declining sense
Leave this quarantine
And take your jeans off