what do you think of my poem?? (sestina)?

phillip modwana

New member
War takes on like the elements.
Not many know that there is a fifth element, which is time.
Aggressive offense is like a wild fire,
but not bold and brave as earth.
Defense needs to swift and cunning patterns like air,
but needs to plan things ahead, and stay calm as water.

Dangerous enough; unpredictable, describes water.
Strong, and free will of war takes on the elements.
Like a tornado, you don't see it until it hits as of air.
Change doesn't happen in a flash. You need some time
to change things. you got to be bold and strong as earth.
Though aggresive for the things needed, making fear as fire.

Controlling the situation is difficult. Always changing patterns as fire.
Though knowing the right path, and taking out everything as water.
Not quite certain, but faces the danger head on as earth.
War has some patterns, but then sometimes it don't. Taking war elements
on your own thoughts. Deciding what right decision needs time.
Making the wrong choice is costly. Think ahead, plan, and become your oppenent. Take advantage as a hurricane of air.

Combine with your oppenent, to overcome your appenent. Air
overcomes aggression. Free-willing attacks on anyone. Fire
is an umpredictable thing. Ability of destroying everything with time.
Staying calm in the heat of the battle. taking control as water
takes control of the results of it's path. Understanding the elements
is understanding all the ways of war. Courage and brave as the earth

helps identigy the weakness within everyone. Fear lives inside earth.
Showing weaknessess isn't always bad. Within the air
is a weakness of single soldiers. Without a group it's nothing. Elements
live in every person. Some people are fire.
Some people are water.
Without proper knowlege time

Will take everything of the elements inside someone. Time
will every aspect of a person. Working as a team earth
overcomes many things. Able to withstand alone. Water
can fend for it's self. With standing the pressure air
escapes without injury. Straight up with attacks fire
battles without reason. War describes the elements.

Water is a passed example of time.
Elements live in everyone. Whether it be earth,
or air. It just needs time to devlop into the passion of fire.
a sestina poem isnt meant to rhyme by the way.
 
Sorry, not my type of poems. Short and sweet are the best combination for all poems.

EDIT: it loses energy near the end and drawls on- too repititious
 
Sorry, not my type of poems. Short and sweet are the best combination for all poems.

EDIT: it loses energy near the end and drawls on- too repititious
 
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