what do you think of my poem about anorexia?

K

Kalijinxed

New member
it's not the kind of problem that can be solved
there is no cure
nobody can stop it
and it will end me
at first it seems like an easy fix
it's a warm smile that says come in you're always welcome
once it has you're soul and self control...
you cannot stop it it has it's role.
i will die.it will murder me.
and i hate myself because...
if i had the chance...
to do it all over,
i wouldn't change a single thing.
 
wow! rather emotive i must admit. but well if u feel so strongly about anorexia... then pen it down. perhaps u can add more ryhming at the ends of the sentence and a little alliteration and onomatopeia... us those literary devices u learn in lit class...

hoped it helped! :)
 
i hope like shit that that's not happening to you
and the last verse was seriously unexpected
but it's good but unaccurate
there is always a way out
 
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