what do you think about my poem?

lesa

New member
It has to be 30 lines and start w/ "I saw a man walking"
It's about hope
I saw a man walking
He was limping along
struggling to carry his groceries
In his face I saw exhaustion
but hope for better days to come

I saw a baby crawling
Its face full of wonder
and amazement of the world
its eyes full of happiness

I saw a woman running
gasping for breath
Pain on her face
But the desire to go the last mile

I saw a man walking
standing tall despite the weight of his many bags
Freezing in the cold in his thin layer of clothing
Yet still with an optimism about him
Still with hope in his eyes.

I saw a dog trotting in the rain
home to the warmth and dry
of people that love him

I saw a lady playing a flute
on a street corner
People applauded
as she played a song of hope

I saw an old man walking
on a cold winter day
beside him walked his grandson
holding his hand as they walked
A picture of hope.
What do you thin of it? Can you think of any other good little mini verses like the ones I have?
Thanks!!!
 
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