What do you guys think of this poem?

B

Brack_871

New member
I like the poem. Beginning Poets always try to make things rhyme in a structured stanza. Poems do not always have to rhyme. I can tell this person is someone you care about, why not try and express these feelings in your poem more. Speak from the heart and make this poem come alive. I think it is a good start and my challenge for you is: Forget the traditional structure that you are familiar with. Rewrite this poem and try not to make it rhyme. I bet when you are finished the second time you will surprise yourself, and maybe you might even feel that you have your meaning more clear. Give it try.
 
"Katie"

Hate is a four-letter word.
Fear is a place in your head.
They've left all this empty space
Where no love exists instead.

Life is a place with no hope
Where Katie just can't find her way.
Nobody ever helps her
Chase all that old pain away.

Katie has no place to go.
Katie has no place to hide.
She's running away from her dreams
And what she really feels deep inside.

So she runs and she never looks back.
She lets the tears come as they fall.
Katie wants someone to love,
But she won't get that at all.

So when Katie just never comes back,
They don't realize what they've done.
They've killed this broken young girl
Without even touching a gun.

Creative criticism is always accepted! What can I do to make it better? Is it good? Is it bad? I'm 15, BTW. Is this a good poem for a 15 year old to have written?
 
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