What do u think of my poem??please answer!!!!?

B

bobby's girl

New member
Wow! Glad to meet ya. Liked this a lot, Girlie, and it said a lot. You have a talent. Keep writing, ya hear & I'll start looking for ya. STAR so this'll get noticed. K?
 
A Sleepless Night

No longer sleeping,
Just lying awake
No longer thinking
For my heart will ache

I lie in the dark
And close my eyes
Trying to interpret
Your fateful lies

The dreams that I dream
Will never come true
That I am sure,
For me they never do

The anguish streams
From that gaping hole
Within my heart,
Within my soul

I feel so frightened,
Alone and scared
No one tried to help
For no one dared

I saw this pain
Coming my way
Now I’ve I got to fight it
Day after day.
 
i think it's great. The only area that bothers me, (because I can never just be happy with something), is the last line in the 3rd stanza. Just doesnt seem to go with the rest of the stanza. But what do I know haha
 
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