What could I add to this short essay for a scholarship for an university?

RACHEL

New member
Please write an essay detailing why you are applying for a scholarship. Include information regarding what you wish to accomplish at UM-St. Louis and your future goals.


I am looking forward to the opportunity to continue my education at UMSL. Throughout my studies at Saint Louis Community College at Meramec, I did extensive research in order to find a university that has a great reputation, and UMSL stands out as a great opportunity. The transition from community college to a four-year university, and hopefully to graduate school as well, is a journey that I would be honored to complete at University of Missouri - Saint Louis.

I am applying for a scholarship because I was told that if I have a high GPA at a community college, certain four year universities will give scholarships. Currently, I have a 3.63 GPA, so I am eligible for this scholarship. My parents' income is relatively small, so I believe that this will help me out with the fees.

I plan on getting my Bachelor’s degree majoring in Accounting at UMSL by May of 2012. I wish to enter the field of Accounting because it is a subject that I enjoy and because I have performed well in every class that I have taken. I truly desire to become a certified public accountant. After I get my bachelor’s degree, I want to continue with my studies and receive my Master’s degree. For me, graduating with average grades is not an option. I will strive to continue receiving high grades at UMSL, similarly to my academic career at Meramec. I am extremely interested in transferring to UMSL and truly hope that I will be accepted.

What more could I add? If you find any mistakes you can tell me too.
 
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